


EYES SHUT

by LovingYouThatWay, tit4eto



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Seduction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, End of the World, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Gunshot Wounds, Hongjoong is sweet, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Knives, M/M, Mingi is an asshole, Past Lives, Past Relationship(s), Post-Apocalypse, San is also an asshole, Slow Burn, World of Darkness, wooyoung is a hooker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:27:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23843725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingYouThatWay/pseuds/LovingYouThatWay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tit4eto/pseuds/tit4eto
Summary: “Today massive shooting took the life of nine occupants of the Shelter. Investigation is on-going for the terrorist to be found and brought to Court.”  The message was being repeated at least three times until Hongjoong actually assimilated what it meant.It was the first time in the new history of such outrageous act of violence being commited. When the whole humanity was so close to extinction, the desire to continue living was what held the people together. There were no longer separate great countries or nations. Those who managed to take shelter under the ground, when the Great Winter came upon them reached to the most logical and reasonable agreement - for everyone to live as one united nation so the population could survive. If Hongjoong remembered correctly, that had happened 67 years ago, if he could believe Mr. Choi’s words.So crime rate was not eradicated but reduced to the bare minimum. Nowadays, no one had any benefit of killing people, because that endangered their own survival under the Shelter’s protection. Of course, crimes still occurred but under other circumstances.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kim Hongjoong/Song Mingi
Comments: 27
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was the day when someone had to leave the Shelter. At the exact same date, each month a member of the society had to be kicked out in order to keep the ones that are left inside contributing, doing the work that was given to them by the council. In other words, the men who lived deeper in the Shelter, the ones who created the rules and upgraded them into more fucked up plans each month, year, decade - those people were deciding who was going to live and who was not. 

So each month they kicked out rebels,lazy, sick or old people, they kept the kids and turned them into machines once they hit 12 and were able to work the destined job that the Shelter was giving to them. 

Some were lucky, had good jobs and didn’t need to comply, they could even get drunk at some days of the week, have fun with hookers, pay nothing for the service and then go back to doing nothing. 

But there were others who suffered, like the miners who lived underneath everyone, digging deeper and deeper into the earth so they could build more space for the population that was left after the so called Last day of the sun. 

These men were destined to work down there and nobody even saw them going back up to the shelter. At least Wooyoung had never met any of them, so he called them a myth. 

In a matter of fact, he hadn’t met anyone of the council as well, but he had a great plan in his head if that could ever happen. He wished he could be chosen to please one of those bastards, but not until he learned how to kill. 

Wooyoung was one of the unlucky people, born by a hooker, raised as one. He had no idea how, but he couldn’t memorize any of the people who had passed through the door of his room and pleased their needs. He couldn’t also memorize a time that he had pleased his own needs. But what he knew was that he had to be happy to be as Entertainer, like his friends Seonghwa and Yeosang were. But something was burning inside of Wooyoung ever since he woke up one morning, being in the company of a guy who was trying to get his way in him and Wooyoung felt disturbed. 

Ever since that morning, he was convinced by his friends that he should calm down and never search for more than sex. That he was lucky to be working as a hooker, that he was given so much as one. That one day someone from the important people inside the Shelter could hear about him and ask for his service.

He listened, but he knew that something was wrong with all of that. He was thinking about something that was missing in the Shelter - that feeling- love. Why were people born and raised, brainwashed by the Teachers who taught them basic things while they were little and then focused on the smart kids that would matter for the society. Everyone else were getting jobs after they turn 12 and voila, apparently Wooyoung was born in a family of hookers, why not being one himself? He wasn’t taught what love meant anyway. He was perfect for this job, but damn, his body and soul were against it ever since he figured that he was left with no choice. 

“I can’t come to the gates with you.” Wooyoung mumbled, turning towards his brother who was at the other side of the tiny room and collecting his clothes in an old dusty bag, his entire face covered in dirt and blood. 

He was a part of the miners, the team who was supposed to be on the front line and dig deeper for everyone else who lived above. He was a hero, but only in Wooyoung’s eyes. 

“Don’t be like that. You know why they chose me to leave.” His brother mumbled, showing his right arm that was covered in dirty bandages, still bleeding, but none of the medics did nothing to save it. That arm was smashed, according to the records. Hansol hit something and the consequences of his work was to be covered by rocks and dust. They barely took him out of that damned place and a few hours later, his name had been called out in the entire Shelter. 

He was picked to leave, die outside where only darkness was surrounding the lands on the surface. There was nothing out there, they had been informed that through the years, the expeditions were happening every month by those brave men whose job was to seek for something, anything. 

Sometimes Wooyoung wondered if it was cool to be one of these heroes. At least they could pick a woman or a man and live their lives happily, of course if they come back alive. They had a choice, Wooyoung was restricted from it. 

He lost his mother when he was 14. She taught him the basics of how to please men and women, she told him to never dream higher, to bite his tongue and accept his fate. And then she left him alone, while his brother was living in the mines his entire life. 

Now Wooyoung was 20, seeing his brother for the first time in his life, only to tell him goodbye. They were basically strangers, but Wooyoung felt a bit nostalgic, seeing similarities in that dirty face to the one of his mother. 

He had no idea who his brother was as a person. He only knew his name. 

“I do. And I am sorry. It was nice meeting you, Hansol.” Wooyoung said and raised his body from the bed, looking at the fucking room that belonged to his brother and felt like laughing. Why did they give Hansol a room, when he was in the mines for around 20 years. He was 12 when Wooyoung got born, saw him as a baby and probably wished for him to have a better life before entering the mines. 

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. 

“Me too.” His brother said and put the backpack over his shoulder, trying to hide the pain that he probably felt. Wooyoung wondered if they injected him with something, or he was just too numb to feel anything. Whatever the reason was, that was the last time that they would stare at each other and maybe he had to be positive and wish his brother a miracle. 

But Wooyoung was too pessimistic to do that. 

“You are on your own now.” Hansol said and slowly approached the door, staring at the other with somewhat empathy. 

Wooyoung was sure that he noticed the hickeys that he had on his neck. He probably noticed the loosened shirt, the ripped jeans. The clean hair and fair skin. He probably knew what Wooyoung was. And it brought disgust in the younger male, so he looked away first and bit his bottom lip. 

“You too. Good luck out there.” Wooyoung said through his clenched teeth and anger slid through his skin. Damn, why was he born so different. Nothing seemed to satisfy him. Nothing seemed right for him. None of this. 

“Who knows, maybe i will find the sun. A light or something.” Hansol tried to share a lame joke in his last moment with his brother, but Wooyoung wasn’t willing to listen. 

He just stormed out of the room with a last goodbye and decided to take the disappoint and pain away with a drink. At least entertainers were given the permission to steal bottles of alcohol and drown their days with it. 

  
  


*****

Errand boy - that was what Hongjoong had always been and would always be, at least that was what everyone around him made clear. He detested how unfair life had become not only for his family but for all people around the world. He had dreamed about seas, mountains, sand, clouds, grass, clear air - everything that was lacking in the world, but the old people were telling so many interesting stories around the camp every night that for Hongjoong it was like he was personally reliving those amazing tales. 

Per example, Mr. Choi who was currently sitting two chairs from him, was the best story teller. He was entertaining the kids with the most ridiculous stories ever. Like how he had been spending days and nights climbing over one of the biggests peaks that existed on Earth - Everest. Mr. Choi went into so many details that it was like Hongjoong could literally feel the freezing snow beneath his ass. As if it was him and not Mr. Choi that fell over a cliff and almost lost his life laying in the cold snowy bed. He did not know how the story ends though, since Mr. Choi never provided the answer to the most logical question - how did he survive through such dangerous situation? 

Hongjoong decided not to waste his breath tonight in asking him that enthralling quarry, because he knew that once he voiced it out, Mr. Choi was going to stand up looking all kinds of offended and pissed off and quickly stroll down to his personal space. 

Hah. Personal space. That term meant nothing around the Shelter. Everyone butted in each other’s business, since besides working day and night - there was nothing else to do. And if you chose not to contribute… well, then you got expelled. And no one from those who were kicked out were ever allowed to come back. He had seen people going so often that it was almost not a big deal anymore. 

He had his ‘position’ - errand boy. It was not exactly easy to get where he was now, it took him years of nonstop running around offering his help for nothing in return, just so he could make people trust him enough to accept him as someone who could contribute. 

He hated that word. What was he exactly contributing to when he was asked to leave their camp just so he could go down to the nearest station? He was usually just delivering parts from and to the Engineering station. It was not a hard task or anything but it made him wonder. How a bunch of people made everything in the Shelter work so well and keep so many people alive under the ground? 

Hongjoong looked once again towards Mr. Choi who looked like the Gods were going to take him back sooner than later. Did this old poor soul really was able to work above? Did his feet really meet the grass and not mud? Did he really could walk around freely like he was saying? 

Even though every word sounded so alien to him, he could not help himself but smile. He loved to spend his evenings just sitting here around the fire and listening to those amazing stories and imagine that all of that was experienced by him and not someone else. 

His attention was taken by a group of kids shouting and jumping around. He stood up from his comfortable spot and moved closer to check what was causing such commotion. It was not like something extraordinary could happen nowadays, so he paid no mind to the crowd that had gathered, yet when he saw two unfamiliar men, facing the people around them with such arrogance like they owned the place … well, now that was something new. 

It was rare for someone to take the trip to the upper stations of the Shelter, especially when nothing was wrong with either the electricity machines or the air purifiers. At least Hongjoong did not know of any such problem, either way he was going to be ordered to go deeper in the ground, to the lower stations to find the necessary parts for the faulty ones to be replaced or something. He honestly had no idea what could have made someone to go upstair to their small camp, especially geared up to the ears with all those weapons. 

Did someone commit a crime? He was not sure about that. Everyone was afraid of being kicked out, so crimes were not an issue within their camp. 

Hongjoong took a good look of the newcomers. Both of them were wearing long coats, but that clothing did nothing to cover the guns that were safely tucked around their thighs or the knives wrapped around their calves. Not to mention the bats in their hands. 

By their looks… they were definitely in search for trouble, but not upon themselves but for the poor people that he had lived with all his life. 

The taller one was swifting the bat skillfully in his hand and was judgingly looking around, while the shorter one was just staring ahead of him, as if he was expecting for something to happen right now and then. 

“What brings you above?” Someone dared to ask and Hongjoong knew right away that was a big mistake. 

The taller guy turned towards the man who casually asked that, but the look on his face was blank as he stared back for a moment. Probably nobody expected him to talk, but he did. 

“None of your business, scam.” His voice was deep, his intentions finally uncovered for everyone as he swing the bat hard and hit one of the air pipes, damaging it on the surface. He didn’t stop, walking over to an old looking machine and tested it with his foot, then kicked it hard until it broke. “All of that trash here, I want it clean within three hours.” He started giving orders, looking around the people who had gathered behind the surrounding crowd, the spot where HongJoong was. 

“And who are you to give orders around?” Hongjoong cringed when he heard Mr. Choi voicing out what everyone was wondering about. He had this bad feeling…

The tall male made his way through the crowd of people, while the shorter one stood quietly and did nothing to follow or say a word. 

“And why should I give you answers?” The guy said in the same arrogant way, walking closer to the fire. Two people stood up from their places that surrounded the fire and moved away, giving him space to walk. But he didn’t pay attention on anyone else but Mr. Choi. And then he laughed. “Damn, isn’t it lame that today we kicked out a 34 years old man and then here you are, still living.”

“I cannot take any part for replacement without official order.” Hongjoong quickly stepped in and stood up right next to Mr. Choi. He didn’t want the old man to be kicked out just for asking the right questions. His eyes met directly the ones of the newcomer. He was taken aback for a second as a glimpse of recognition fired up inside of him. He had never met this person but his eyes reminded him of something. 

“What is your name?” The stranger asked him, taking him out of the daze with his question. 

“Hongjoong.” He replied right away. It was clear that there was no way out of this ridiculous situation that he found himself into, so he had to play it smart and just to go with the flow. “Are you sent from the council?” 

“Why else would I be here?” The guy replied and stepped back, releasing a dramatic sigh. His eyes rolled around everyone and the hatred that he showed with his entire posture became obvious when he spread his arms to the sides and spoke loud enough to be heard by all the people around the fire. “I am Song Mingi, representing the main court. Who do I work for and questions from this matter are none of your business. Consider me as your new boss. If I say that I want this trash clean, then you will do that. Me and my friend here are going to stay around until this camp turns into an acceptable place to live. No more talking.” He said and threw the bat on the ground, arrogantly pushing two men to make his way back to the short quiet male who nodded aside and headed out first. 

Before the tall one follow him through the metal gates, he turned back and stared right at HongJoong.

“You will have your official order, Hongjoong.” He said and smirked, following his partner out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello :)   
> In this chapter you'll see interaction between all characters and believe us... something is coming soon for all of them xD

Chapter 2

“What do you think is the real taste of alcohol?” Hongjoong mumbled while swirling the questioningly looking liquid in the glass he was holding. After the eventful scene with the newcomers, he decided to visit the only person that he considered friend - Wooyoung. They made themselves comfortable on the floor of the almost empty room - as you can imagine they couldn't really have too many possessions since there was almost nothing that could be used to make their lives more comfortable, cozy or homely. And keeping in mind that Wooyoung was almost never in his so called room since he was working all the time, that made it even more difficult for the other to make this place look like his own. For some reason, he considered himself to be luckier compared to his friend as his only occupation was delivering stuff from and to, and not entertain people around. But there was no room for pettiness anymore. They had to suck it up and live as they were supposed to. 

There was a long silence before Wooyoung responded to the question. “I have tasted better and worse. The cooker downstairs is always telling me secrets about a place down there where they keep alcohol from before the catastrophe. Who knows.” He shrugged, looking already drunk as his face was red and his eyes were heavily staring at his curious friend. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.” Hongjoong smiled and one-shotted what was left in his glass. The taste was not bad, yet he was sure that what they were drinking now was a far cry from the real thing. 

Wooyoung smirked, thinking that his question could put his friend in an uncomfortable position, but he had always filled up that boy’s head with bullshits that nobody cared about. And he was almost sure that HongJoong wouldn’t give him the answer that he seeked, but he was always curious to ask people about it. 

“Have you ever felt attracted to anyone here?” He asked and looked at his own small shot glass, giving himself a moment before he could follow his friend and drink it. “And by that I don’t mean like a friendship kind of attraction. Do you follow my thoughts?”

The older one looked at his friend and made a face. “Such random question?” Hongjoong really had to think it over since he could not think of anyone who actually looked appealing to him. His head was always full with other more intriguing thoughts. “No. Maybe I’m asexual?” He laughed it out. “And you?” It was tricky question since the other had no other choice in his job, but to play along with whatever perverted kinks his customers had, and basically no one cared whether the entertainer was attracted to them or not. 

Wooyoung nodded instantly. “Many. But it's weird, because I don’t remember their names and I barely see them around after we finish the fun.” He said, as if trying to recall one of these moments, or remember some name, person who looked good enough. He never asked them questions and never let them ask anything back. It was just a momentary thing, that he considered as a job and maybe that was turning into a problem. So he laughed as well. “Maybe I am asexual, as well. Cheers.”

Their glasses bumped and for a second Hongjoong wondered when the other had the time to refill them, but that thought flew away immediately as the alcohol slid down his throat. 

“You know.. something weird happened today.” So far he had not had the chance to share the newest piece of information with Wooyoung. He knew that today his brother was kicked out and even though both of them had never been close or anything, yet Hongjoong was sure that it must suck to lose the only family that the other had left with. And now Hansol was never coming back. “Two newcomers. Arrogant as fuck, better stay away from them.” 

Wooyoung nearly laughed again. It was kind of funny how HongJoong had always expressed some affection towards him and warned him of silly dangers. He on the other hand didn’t fear arrogant assholes, but he thought that it was cute how the older boy was trying to protect him. 

“Were they cool?” He teased, knowing that HongJoong wouldn’t say anything positive about these men, especially when they clearly pissed him off. “You didn’t stay away from them, did you? You always find troubles.”

Hongjoong laughed at that. “Define cool? But they have guns, knives and who knows what else… And yeah.. I had to butt myself in, otherwise Mr. Choi was going to be kicked out.” It was the truth. He felt as if this Song Mingi was not just shooting treats without having intention of keeping them up.

“Why do you always call him a mister?” Wooyoung asked ironically. That title was given to the important men in the Shelter. Some old dude was not privileged to be called a mister, but maybe that title was common in the old times when people lived up there. “What’s his name?”

“Mr. Choi.” Was the only thing Hongjoong could reply back. He really did not know what was the old guy’s given name. He had never asked and he was never told. “He had been alive when there was still Sun...he had stepped over grass… swam in the seas, climbed over mountains. He is the coolest person alive.” A big smile plastered itself over his face. Whenever he thought of Mr. Choi it made him happy. “Don’t you agree?” 

Wooyoung nodded. “Whatever you say.” He said shortly to just make his friend feel enthusiastic about the story that he was telling. But to be honest, he had never wished to go up there, because all of these stories were dead myths now and they would never see any grass or sea. Maybe there was still something left from all that described beauty, but if they were sent out there in the darkness, it meant that their lives had reached the end. Just like right now, Hansol was probably trying to find a shelter somewhere out there, or maybe he was already dead, killed by something. From the cold probably.   
Wooyoung pushed these dark thoughts away and sighed, giving his friend a smile. 

“Get lost now, I need my sleep. And you are too pretty to be sleeping here.” He said and wiggled his eyebrows in a playful matter. “You know where the friendship ends, Hong.”

“And here I was thinking you’re gonna hit on me.” Hongjoong stood up quickly and took the bottle with him. “This is for me then, princess… so I can dull the pain of not seeing you..” He laughed as he opened the poor excuse of a door. 

“Coward.” Wooyoung threw one of the empty glasses after his friend and laughed. 

Hongjoong closed the door just in time for the glass to hit the door, while he could not hide his amusement of his friend’s antics. He was mockingly walking backwards making faces at the door as if Wooyoung could see him through the tick metal surface. Being so childish while being drunk could lead to only thing - bumping into something. Or in his case - into someone. 

“Sorry…” He immediately stepped away and turned around to show sincerity and then saw those familiar eyes, glaring at him. Instantly he felt this cold vibe coming off the other. For some reason this person’s name was so easy to associate with the face. Usually, he was bad with names, but Song Mingi fitted perfectly to the handsome face in front of him. Yet, his admiration was officially one sided after acknowledging the hatred swirling off the taller man. And for a second there, Hongjoong felt how his insides clenched. 

Maybe he had lied to Wooyoung after all. But he had never really felt like this before. And he had only met this guy a few hours ago.. yet he could not deny it. Mingi was perfect. And he obviously hated him. Nice.

“Interesting place to find you.” Mingi said quietly, making a motion with his bare hands, since they were currently in the quarter of the hookers, but he didn’t look like someone, who just came out of one of these rooms. And yet his hair wasn’t strictly pushed back like it was when HongJoong saw him earlier and all of the layers of clothes were taken off, except of a loosen vest and pair of tight black pants. “Let me guess, you are single, good for nothing scam who seeks attention in the worst place of the Shelter.”

Hongjoong was used to be treated in such degrading way, yet it not suit well with him to hear such words directed to him, as if he really was lower that the dirt under the other’s boots. 

“You’re absolutely right.” Hongjoong made a sarcastic remark, while mockingly bowing a little for the other. “Yet, I found you exactly here… seeking attention in the worst place, as well.” His heartbeat increased drastically since he knew he was getting himself in trouble once again, but he just could not keep his mouth shut. 

Mingi’s poker face finally broke as he looked as if something really touched his nerves. His lips trembled, pulled up in a smirk and he made a step towards HongJoong, keeping a very small distance between them. 

“What makes you think that you know what I’m doing here?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at the shorter boy. “I might be searching for something else here.”

“Like what?” Once again, his mouth was faster than his brain and Hongjoong was sure he was going to regret it pretty soon. “Alcohol?” poor excuse of an attempt to save his sorry ass. Yet he raised the bottle higher for the other to see it. 

Mingi looked impressed for a second, or he was faking that expression very well. “As we are at that topic, you seem pretty drunk. Go back to your room and stop asking me shit.” He went back to being stoic and serious, but as he was about to pass by HongJoong, his hand moved up and took a grasp of his hair, pulling it hard enough to get him closer to himself. “I suggest you to stop looking at me like that.”

Hongjoong’s body had a mind of his own. And while he had trouble to grasp why the other was trying to manhandle him, his body closed the small distance between them and pressed against the taller male. “Or what?” even though the other was still holding him by the hair, he was not going to look down and continued to glare at him, as if daring him to do something. 

The hard hold loosened a little and Mingi looked back at him so thoughtfully that for a moment there, Hongjoong had no idea if he was even going to say something or just keep that interaction going. 

“Don’t…” He ended up saying, spilling it out with the same hatred that he looked at him.

“You’re the one holding me, Mingi.” Whatever possessed Hongjoong was just beyond him. Why he was acting so daring towards a complete stranger was just...not something that Hongjoong used to.   
And the other pulled his hand back from his hair in a matter of seconds, making the first step back. He tried to control his facial expression, but Hongjoong could clearly notice the frustration that was breaking in the cold posture of that guy and he wondered why. 

Mingi ended up glaring back at him, recovering too quickly as if nothing had happened between them a moment ago.   
“I am not here for good.” He spoke, making another step back. “So don’t look at me like that, because I fucking hate it.” And with that he turned around, heading down the corridor. 

The only thing that Hongjoong could do was stare after the other, wondering what the hell just happened to him. As if he just remembered where he was, what he was supposed to do and where he was headed, he raised the bottle that he was still holding on his eye level and mumbled ... 

“Damn.. you’re good.” 

**********************

Seonghwa was dressed up as he was going on a special place the next day.   
Wooyoung was having a bad hangover, so he was practically useless for everyone during most of the day. The others were patiently covering up his ass, but when the clock on the wall was showing some fake time, currently 8pm, the door of his room had opened and the pretty face of Seonghwa showed up with a sneaky smile. 

“Are you still dead? Come on, we have work to do” He said, walking over to Wooyoung’s bed, pulling away the covers before he moved to the single wardrobe in the room and started pulling out clothes, throwing them at his friend.

“Me and you? That's new.” Wooyoung sat in the bed, rubbing his eyes to chase the sleep away and he wanted to blame Hongjoong for some reason, but he wasn’t still sure why. It wasn’t like his friend poured out alcohol down his throat. 

“Yes, me and you. There are some guys from below that showed up and I was asked to go and please them.” Seonghwa replied and continued searching for something, while Wooyoung was rejecting everything that was offered to him to put on. 

“And why do you need me?” He couldn’t help but ask. “You can deal with two idiots.”

“Trust me, you wanna come with me.” His friend said and finally stopped, turning to face him with a black shirt in his hands and a wide smile on his face. “I heard that they are important.”

Wooyoung sighed. Yes, many of his friends knew about his so called plan to make a progress. To spin someone’s head and leave that fucking place. Of course, Seonghwa didn’t know the details and the desire that Wooyoung had to murder someone, but he covered that up with a smile. 

If he was needed somewhere, he had to obey, otherwise he could be the next one following the bad path of his cursed family and die out there in the darkness. So he stood up quickly and dressed up the offered shirt along with a pair of jeans, tried to tame his hair for a moment and nodded at the door.

“Let's go then. You are losing my time.” He winked at the other and followed him outside as Seonghwa lead them towards the old crappy elevator, hitting the button urgently. 

“Do you have a pick?” Wooyoung asked him with no real interest, because he doubted that whoever those men were, were anything close to handsome. 

Seonghwa entered the elevator first and waited for him to get in before hitting the button. He hit the button of Hongjoong’s floor and Wooyoung really wanted to ask a question now.

“No, I’m good with whoever I get my hands on.” 

“Dude, why are we going to that place?” 

“They are just there, why do you care?” 

The elevator stopped and Seonghwa escaped first, heading down the dusty corridor.   
Wooyoung had been here many times, since he liked to visit Hongjoong in his free time and just walk around with him. But he had always thought that this camp was too dirty and old for someone important. 

And then a single thought crossed his mind and he wanted to laugh. Was he going to fuck the guys that Joong warned him about? He died to tell him that later. 

“Pick a room.” Seonghwa stopped in front of some doors and smirked.   
Wooyoung nodded at the one on right and waved at his friend before he silently opened the door and entered the room. 

The door squeaked disgustingly loud and Wooyoung cringed at the sound of it, but kicked it closed, switching off right after the metal door got shut behind his back. His smile faded and he turned around gracefully, looking around for his customer. 

He spotted a guy sitting on a chair at the end of the room, holding a knife in his hands, brushing away something from it. The thought that this could be blood crossed Wooyoung’s mind for only a second before he decided that there was no reason to be scared. He undid all the buttons of his shirt and stared at the guy. 

His black hair was damp from sweat, his jaw clenched when he acknowledged that someone had joined him. He didn’t look up, but Wooyoung was able to take in all the edges of his face, finding it stunningly handsome. It was rare to watch over a guy like that one, a catch to the eye.   
The stranger was radiating such danger that Wooyoung felt threatened while he was stepping closer to him. His look lingered on the other’s sharp eyes for a moment, before following the lines of his bare arms, all the way down to his hands. 

It was rare for him to just stand there and stare, but that guy looked like someone who didn’t want to be disturbed. Yet, he called out for a hooker, so he was going to get his distraction. And damn, Wooyoung wanted his eyes on himself. 

He sighed, the other had no response to that. He acted as if Wooyoung wasn’t even there. And just then the boy felt triggered to act. 

He reached out and pushed that knife away from the guy’s hands, waiting for him to give a reaction. The stranger finally looked up at him and it felt like million needles pierced his skin for a moment. 

“Eyes on me.” Wooyoung said, pushing the other back on the chair so his back could press firmly against it and sat himself on his lap. 

His customer for the night, or at least that was what Wooyoung hoped for, looked at him with no emotion expressed on his face. He just stared at him and sized him up. 

“What are you doing here?” His voice came out low, eyes stuck on Wooyoung ones. 

“Well my friend asked me to keep an eye on you, while he takes care of your friend.” He replied, not having a full explanation of what he was doing here, but who needed it anyway? Was that sexy asshole not being informed that he was about to get some fun. That was almost hilarious. But as a professional, Wooyoung held back all emotions at bay and acted in the same way that this guy did. He acted cold, figuring out that this was what the guy was used to. His hands moved along the other’s strong chest and he rolled his eyes down, noticing his abs.

“You can go back to being mute and fuck me.”

The stranger pressed his lips tight and grabbed the fleshy thighs that were keeping him in place. 

“Is that what you are really here for? To fuck?” Wooyoung could see something flashing in the other’s eyes, something that did not give the right vibe at all. “Maybe you deserve it then.” His customer did not waste a second even when he pushed him hard enough for Wooyoung to lose his ground and fall on his ass. 

Wooyoung glared up at him and his insides started burning immediately. It was a fire that he wasn’t often experiencing, especially with men. They used to admire him. He was always fresh and clean, dressed up nicely for these motherfuckers, and faked his mood all the fucking time. And what for? To be pushed around like a scam?

His ego took the kick, but he recovered fast enough, spreading his legs wide in front of the other, sliding one hand down to his crotch, while the other supported his weight. 

His glares stabbed the other male and he went for another round. He couldn’t be rejected, because that rejection could cost him his life and he was aware of that. So to suck up his principles and ego was a better option. 

“Come on, I know that you can handle me good.” He said, watching over the anger that was filling up that stranger’s pretty face. 

“Do you even know my name?” The stranger lowered down, leaning his elbows on his knees, fingers locked together. His eyes were flashing fire as he was staring at him while spreading himself for him. The other was purposely doing it, in order to degrade him and Wooyoung felt the anger bubbling inside him, ready to reach the surface. “Or you don’t keep track of your customers? How many have you been with? Do you know the exact number?” The stranger continued and it looked like his only mission was to humiliate him and not use him now. 

Wooyoung sucked it up again and smirked instead, showing him how little he cared about the insult. “More than the ones you had fucked for sure.” He said sarcastically and let his hand move along his crotch, wondering if he could even get himself turned on with that asshole. “Why do I need to know your name? I find it too intimate, but if you prefer me to scream it, I can do that.” He said and shot the stranger a glare. 

“How much can you actually take? Do you like it to be pushed down on your knees so easily? Do you even fight it or you just…” he gestured towards Wooyoung and his provocative act on the floor. “...spread your legs for everyone… disgusting.” The stranger leaned back on the chair and took his knife again. Completely dismissing Wooyoung as if he was not there at all. 

That was the first time that he got a rejection like that. The hand that was exploring stopped moving and Wooyoung felt something that he had never let himself feel while being with some unknown asshole. He was looking at that one as if he wanted to remember his face and keep it at the back of his mind after that night.   
The hint of hatred started to show up and he wondered if it would be too bad if he just get back on his feet and leave that fucking room. 

But something inside of him was keeping him down, just like that motherfucker described as disgusting and if there was something that Wooyoung could do well, that was to keep eyes on himself. 

He sat up and seized the other up and down, glaring at the calm posture of the guy while he was just cleaning his knife again. 

“Can I ask you a question?” He asked, but didn’t wait for an answer. Instead he went for another move on the other and reached out for the knife again, expecting to get pushed away fast enough, but the stranger seemed into his own world, so Wooyoung managed to grab the knife and twist it in his own hand, feeling it light and powerful now that it was passed to him. 

The stranger shot him a skeptic glare and Wooyoung smirked back. 

“Do you really think that you can make me feel bad?” He asked, showing out more emotions than he was willing to give away. But to look at that arrogant asshole was pushing his buttons in so many ways that he kind of stopped caring if he was being sexy right now. “I was told to come here and give peace to your fucking mind, but you are probably one of these sadistic motherfuckers, who like to bully around. Listen, I am angry.”

The other smirked at him and that made Wooyoung even more angry. “Yes, I can make you feel bad… and I will.” It looked like the other just gave him a promise that was not what Wooyoung really wanted or needed right now. He just needed to keep his life no matter how miserable it was. He had to survive until he made it to the council’s lair. “But of course, I dare you to stop me if you can.” And just like that he leaned and retreated his knife, as if to show the other who really kept the power between them. 

“Stop you?” Wooyoung said and laughed angrily. “Why do you think that I should give a fuck about you at all?” He said and stood up from the ground so he could gather up some of his left ego. And then he decided to press more buttons. “Don’t tell me… you hate the fact that I’m a fucking hooker, but you still can’t deny that you wanna put your hands on me. Is that your problem? You wanna feel special?”

The poker face was back on the other’s face while he crossed his legs demonstratively in front of the other. 

“Boy, I can crush you without fucking you.. literally.” 

And right there, while looking at that bastard, Wooyoung felt strangely familiar to this person. A small smile crossed his lips and despite the anger, he felt the urge to really leave that room and forget about this damned meeting.   
It just wasn’t his day at all, this guy wasn’t the problem, the problem laid inside of Wooyoung and he probably shouldn’t have to take it too deep. 

So he accepted the negative comments, the insults, the mocking way that this guy was talking to him and smiled. 

“What a waste.” He mumbled and turned around to leave.

“Just so you can keep track… the name is San - the only customer of yours that doesn’t want you. Note it down.” 

He was just grabbing the handle of the door when the name rolled from the other man’s lips. It sounded familiar, like something that Wooyoung knew by himself but just couldn’t remember.   
He looked behind his shoulder and tried to put that name to his face.   
It really was San. 

“Wooyoung, just in case you need to see my sexy self again.” He winked at him and turned on his way, escaping the room before the guy could strike with another bullshit. 

And once that he left the room and entered the quiet corridor, Wooyoung wondered about several matters at once. Why he was that pissed over a random bastard who had no idea what he wanted?   
Because he humiliated him, rejected him and basically called him nasty? Wasn’t all of that the truth?   
He glared at the door and memorized the number of it because he wanted to remember the person behind it. 

San.

**********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter of our journey with Ateez characters. I'd be nice to see what you think of the story, so far, don't be silent readers xD  
> Thanks for the kudos and see you next time.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was rare for Hongjoong to have more than two deliveries in the same day, but he was glad that he was being occupied. He was fast runner and that was a skill that he had to master in order to avoid some scary places and run by them with such speed that it was all blur for him. He never dared to dwell too much into the dark corridors that connected the stations with one another. They were no closer than 10kms to each other. Each one of them had different population and they had to make sure that people had enough space not only to live in, but to work and keep the machines running. One of the first rule that everyone should follow strictly was to never allow the population to increase too quickly, because that was going to make things harder for the machines to keep operating and contain the life under the ground. It was absolutely forbidden to miss attendance at the verification date, as well. Every three months people had to show in front of the council representatives in their respective stations and report on their health condition. Once he had been sick and almost missed showing his face on the checkup appointment, and he officially was warned that if no one was caught in something illegal or incriminating, then he was going to be kicked out. Just like that. After that unfortunate situation, he was always on time. That was also the first time he felt relieved when he heard another person’s name being pronounced in the camp to be sentenced of leaving their station. That was the time when he stopped having fantasies of better life than the one that he was living. He had to accept and be glad of what he had, that he still was able to feel safe and warm. He had felt sorry for the woman that had been caught stealing a can of beans, apparently she had done it to feed her child, but no one cared about that. Even though he had felt sorry for the poor woman, he felt more relieved that he was going to stay behind. And that made him even sicker. It was not humane to feel glad when someone else was going to lose their life, but… self preservation was strong instinct. 

Hongjoong shook his head in attempt to get rid off those dark thoughts that plagued him - it was like a torture to him. Once he reached his camp level, he stepped quickly towards his usual spot where he expected Mr. Choi to have started already with his storytelling. However, once he went over the fire he found no one. No kids running around, no Mr. Choi sitting, leaning on his cane. The fuck was wrong? Mr. Choi never missed an evening of entertaining whoever was interested in listening to his stories. 

He looked around and for the first time the site was empty. That empty that it was almost scary. He looked towards the metal railing that lead to the second floor where the private rooms were, but no one could be seen lingering there, as well. Hongjoong felt like for the first time in awhile he had lost himself while running around the stations, and maybe he was at the wrong camp station? Yet that thought was soon dismissed when he noticed the drawing that was lingering on the wall right under the railing - a big dragon that was chasing his tail. 

Hongjoong just stood there a little bit lost, not knowing what to do. He had never missed an evening with Mr. Choi. It was like… he was closer to this old guy than to his family. And not seeing him felt so odd, so surreal that it messed with his head. He took unsure steps to his usual chair and just sat down, as if he followed his routine that would make everything come to its proper place. He desperately looked around, but nothing happened. 

He had remained on his place for what felt like an eternity when he heard footsteps and turned around with hope that Mr. Choi’d be the one limping towards him. 

“You are not meant to be out of your room. Get lost.” 

“Since when?” Hongjoong was taken aback by Mingi’s words, not only that he felt more than unhappy to see the guy right now after their previous brief meeting, but also because he just wanted his routine back. And the newcomer was not part of it. 

The tall guy leaned his shoulder against the wall, keeping his distance from Hongjoong. His eyes were showing no emotion while he was staring at him, but after a moment he sneaked one hand in the pocket of his long coat and pulled out something, throwing it towards Hongjoong. 

It was a fake flower, a black one. 

“You should be mourning like the rest on this station.” Mingi said and waited for some kind of reaction but HongJoong was simply staring at the old looking flower. “Your old friend is dead.”

“What?” was the only thing that he could say. At first he could not get what the other really meant. What was this flower about and who was dead? No one just died. That's why they had the checkups for after all. The council was following everyone’s health and if someone was terminally ill then they just kicked the person out, because in that way that meant that no healthy soul was going to be lost. Even if it was a criminal one. “No one dies here. What do you mean?” 

Mingi pulled away from the wall and slowly walked over to where Hongjoong was sitting. “I killed him.” He confessed calmly. “I think you should suck it up and go back to your room. It's an order.”

Mr. Choi’s face flashed in front of Hongjoong’s eyes. The thought of not having the old man around was just unrealistic to him. He had been with the other for so long..how could that happen all of a sudden? Then the other’s words replayed in his head… he had killed him. In a flash Hongjoong was on his feet and gripping Mingi’s collar. 

“What did you do, fucker?”

“Get your fucking hands off of me.” The other warned him in his usual calm way, but his hands moved, wrapping around HongJoong’s wrists. “I’m pretty sure that you don’t need to hear the details, but if you so much insist, I can tell you.”

“You killed him...you killed Mr. Choi…” Anger and disbelief were attacking Hongjoong with such strength that he felt powerless, yet once again his body was quicker than his mind and without putting any thought in his actions, he pulled his hands from the other’s grip only to swing his right fist and punch the newcomer right in the face. “You can’t come here out of nowhere and make rules, you can’t kill Mr. Choi… you leave motherfucker, your place is not here. Get lost!” He was punching the other randomly not sure if he had done any damage at all. He just wanted to get rid off those feelings that were making him sick. 

Mingi didn’t make more than one step back, but took all the hits that Hongjoong had for him. He didn’t even flinch when the other’s fist made contact with his jaw or mouth, he just glared back and in the end when Hongjoong got tired to fight - he smirked. 

“Weak.” He mumbled in the silent hall, staring the angry boy up and down. “Beautiful and weak.”

He couldn’t help it when tears rolled down Hongjoong’s cheeks. He didn’t care whether the other saw him as weak or beautiful or whatever. He felt that things were going wrong, his routine was ruined.   
“Why did you do it? He had done nothing wrong… he was just an old man…” Nevertheless, he needed answer to this question. He couldn’t stand being that close to Mingi but somehow his eyes were once again stuck with the other one's. He felt drawn to him even if he had done the unthinkable. 

“Exactly. He did nothing to contribute.” Mingi responded, wiping the blood from his bottom lip with his thumb, keeping Hongjoong under his gaze the entire time while he was weeping for the loss of the old man. “I went to his room and gave him orders. He made a decision of his own. I told him to leave next month, to be chosen to go out of here. He picked a bullet at the skull.” He gave out all the details and looked like he didn’t regret anything. “So I shot him in the head and spared him the misery.”

“You’re crazy… murderer.” Hongjoong turned around and once again found his place near the fire, sitting down on the chair. He didn't really believe the other, he was sure Mr. Choi was just doing something that kept him away. He was going to come and tell him a story. He was certain of it. Mr. Choi never missed an evening. He was just going to wait for him a bit. 

Mingi sighed after a while, Hongjoong had no idea that he was even still there or how much time passed with silence between them. But when the other announced his presence, he felt as if he couldn’t take more of what that guy wanted to say. 

A second after he felt his touch as Mingi put a finger underneath his chin and pushed it up so he could face him. He looked serious, but disturbed. 

“Go to your room.”

“No. I need my story.” Hongjoong was in pure shock, he just felt empty and he could not even understand why the other was telling him to go to his room. 

“No more.” The newcomer mumbled and pulled his hand back, leaving Hongjoong’s personal space. “Suck it up, he’s dead.” He said and walked away slowly, leaving the boy alone by the fire feeling absolutely numb. 

***********

Hongjoong was mourning, which left Wooyoung with nothing to do for three days in a roll.   
Well, it wasn’t like he was working, but he felt irritated by the flattering of the people who were taking him in their rooms.   
Something felt different and he tried to ignore it, suck it in and move on. 

The obvious reason was that fucker who asked for his service only to humiliate him and play tough, but Wooyoung wasn’t in his best condition that day. He was probably overreacting because of the dumb rejection that he got, but ever since that night his head was full of San. 

Who the fuck was he anyway and why he had to be important? He surely left a scar on Wooyoung’s ego, so he scratched the fourth day on his wall and looked around his fucking room.   
It didn’t feel like home, it looked as if it belonged to someone who was about to leave. But where the hell was he going to go? 

The stupid hopes to do some bullshit and ruin his days in the Shelter were too risky and Wooyoung had no idea if it would ever matter. He could kill someone, but what about the rest of these bastards? He could take down one, but that one could be replaced by somebody else. 

He needed more, but he was completely unable to act. Because he had no power. 

And he was walking around his room for hours, switching different outfits, feeling disgusting in everything that he wore, he felt like breaking the mirror whenever his eyes laid over the fading hickeys. 

Was that how San’s words affected him? Probably, obviously. 

And one quick decision later had him walking out of his room, wearing nothing but a bathrobe that was nicely given to him by some customer who worked at the tailor’s station. It was black and silky and it fit his irritated skin as he stormed into the elevator and hit the button to the 23th floor down. When the doors opened, Wooyoung ignored the looks that he received from the people who were minding their own business and just went straight to the fucking room that he memorized for good. 

He banged on the metal door and waited, panting as if he was running for hours, staring at it for what felt like minutes. Before he could slam his fist against it one more time, the door got opened and the handsome face that he wished to see showed up. 

“You owe this to me.” He hissed and pushed the guy back, shutting the door close behind his back. Wooyoung didn’t wait for San to open his filthy mouth and pour out more insults as he started shooting at him with his own issues. “Keep your fucking mouth shut and listen to what I got for you, motherfucker.”

The other’s amusement was for sure clearly expressed to Wooyoung when he snickered at him. 

“What troubles you now?” And that was the green light that the other needed. 

Wooyoung took a breath and started talking, not even caring that this stranger here had nothing to offer for him.

“I’m pretty, okay? Tell me one fucking time.. no, call me disgusting one more time and I’m gonna stick your fucking tongue in your ass.” He said, walking further in the room like it was his own. At least that room didn’t look as poor and disgusting like his own. It had several belongings and that nice chair that he sat himself onto without invitation. His eyes glared at the mocking look on San’s face, but the other didn’t do anything to cut his speech, so he continued. 

“It's disturbing how a bastard like you got me thinking for days. It's fucking ridiculous.” He said and laughed like crazy. Yes, that guy definitely stepped on his nerves and Hongjoong’s gloomy mood was what kept Wooyoung away from him. He needed to talk to someone who would understand. Well San looked like he understood. “I’m angry. At you. Because I think about you and I wanna fucking show you that I can be good too. More than that.”

“Well.. too bad for you that I’m not interested in what you’re best at.” He critically made gesture towards Wooyoung’s choice of clothing. “It’s good that you’re wondering thou…” San made his way towards the bed and sat down, once again crossing his legs while leaning back on his hands. 

“Wondering? I’m freaking out because of you.” Wooyoung said, not even stopping for a second there to think. This was wrong, it was intimate in so many wrong ways that he had to be up on his feet now and running back to his ugly room. But damn, he needed to speak his mind. And one look aside at that fucker got him shaking. San was a full package of an asshole - sexy and fit, looking at him in such nasty way, having that sharp jaw and cocky smile. His killer eyes were just the last drop. And Wooyoung was very sure that he wasn’t only intimidated by San’s appearance, but also by his manly posture. 

He was hot, definitely someone that could freak out Wooyoung and fuck his mind good. 

“God, this is not happening to me.” He mumbled at the end and buried his face in his hands. 

“Do you really think you’re sexually attracted to me? Or is it your job making you believe it?” By now it should have became clear for Wooyoung that San was not someone who could be smitten with words, while he used his ones with purpose. And if Wooyoung was smart enough, he soon had to grasp what was happening really. San was not joking with him when he promised to crush him and the challenge that he shamelessly threw at the other was just the top of the iceberg. “Or you are such dirty whore who can’t accept rejection? If that’s the case, then maybe I should not be nice to you, at all.” 

Wooyoung dropped his hands down and looked aside at him again. “What did you call me?” He said and his mood took another turn as he glared at San and bit his bottom lip. Damn, if he was right, this was the first time that someone used that verb to describe him. 

“You heard me well. Not gonna repeat myself for you.” San just shrugged as if he was not really interested in their conversation in the first place. “Why? Did this offend you?” 

“Yes.” He nodded simply. “It did.”

“Good.” San smirked while raising up from the bed, taking a few steps towards Wooyoung. “And what are you going to do about it?” 

Wooyoung looked up at him, seized him good and then smiled sarcastically. “I could give you head, but you are such a fucking asshole that it doesn’t even matter.” He said but his actions showed different matter as he took advantage of the stupid bathrobe and undid the tie slowly, wiggling his eyebrows at the male that was stepping on his nerves like no one else did. “Are you sure you’re not interested? It makes me feel bad as a dirty whore to be rejected by a guy like you. Think about my future for a moment. Do you want me to be kicked out because of you?”

“Your future is safe…” San dismissed the other when he turned around, clearly showing him that he did not want to stare at his nakedness. “And what do you know about ‘guys like me’ exactly? You think you know… but you don’t… isn’t this just sad?” 

“You don’t have a slight idea what ‘guys like you’ means.” Wooyoung said and cleared his throat. Was he really okay today? He didn’t screw anyone, he tried fighting his own anxiety that lead him in that room to do what? Rant to some fucker who was doing nothing but to hit him with insults. These insults though…. they seemed to pull Wooyoung closer to San. 

“Let me enlighten you then. I mean that you are good looking, arrogant and you look like someone who can finally make me feel good. Is it clear enough now?” He said and stood up as well, letting the robe to stand open on him just for surprise to San when he decided to turn around. 

“What did you not understand really? I am not interested and that’s it.” The other made the mistake to turn around and that poker face slipped just a little when he took the image of Wooyoung. He eyed him from head to toe in the most obvious way. “Get lost.” 

“Right.” The other said and rolled his eyes, folding up the fucking clothe, but this time his skin was taking it even worse than earlier today. While he was tying up the robe, his eyes were making holes in the other’s face and he really considered leaving as fast as he could. That guy had a knife, Hongjoong mentioned weapons as well, so he probably held a gun in his closet. If his friend was a fucking killer, what made San different? He was a clear danger and people like Wooyoung should know their place. 

He made a step, then another one, but his head started spinning and he stopped in his tracks, facing the other. 

“What's your damn problem with me?” He yelled at San, pushing him on the chest like he wasn’t daring to do to anyone in his wildest imagination and it felt good to finally express his anger.

San shrugged and smiled sweetly. 

“That’s your next topic to dwell over during your restless nights.” With that he grabbed Wooyoung by the wrist and pulled him towards the door. Then just opened it and kicked him out of his room. 

“You didn’t fucking dare….” Wooyoung hissed, panting again for no reason as the raging anger was making his skin burn and he had no idea why he was acting like a crazy bitch, but that guy was having something that was freaking out every single cell in the poor boy’s body.

“Yes, I did.” And with the sweetest smile on San’s lips, the door was closed right into Wooyoung’s face. 

“Fucker.” He gasped, staring at the closed door with frustration. Now that was even worse than the rejection that he got from that guy few days ago. 

He didn’t get a bullet in his fucking head for daring to act cocky with a guy with unclear background who just came into that station and started giving orders. 

Yes, maybe Wooyoung was lucky that he was still alive, but why would a person from a higher rank stand a whore like him? Why would he stand his outbursts and listen to his shit until he gets fed up and kick him out for good? 

Wooyoung could be a hooker, but he wasn’t a dumb one. His eyes kept looking at the door and he smirked to himself, catching up a glitch that was probably supposed to stay hidden. 

“Goodbye San, don’t miss me too much.” He said and kicked the door, turning around to walk over to the elevators. 

The next move that he planned to do was probably because Wooyoung finally wanted to die and get himself out of the misery, but it also sounded thrilling enough to keep his days bright and different. 

He planned to come back here, because San didn’t tell him not to.

*************


	4. Chapter 4

Days had passed for Hongjoong as if in a blur. He had never felt so low in his life, not even when he struggled with finding his own place around. Now he felt as if he had no light in the darkness that was surrounding him, because that was exactly what Mr. Choi represented to him. That realization made him feel even worse. 

The mood in the station had been soar only for day or two, and then everyone reset their lives as if nothing happened. He felt as if he was living in some robotic world, as if he was just a part of a well oiled machine. Life continued as if Mr. Choi had never existed. And even though he felt as if was betraying his old friend, he also had to move on, otherwise he was going to be the next one who was either going to be kicked out for not contributing enough, or just be cold-heartedly murdered by Song Mingi. 

Speaking of Mingi, he had seen the guy couple of times when he was trying to keep up with all delayed deliveries that he had in his schedule. It was always brief and from a distance, he did not dare to cross that guy’s path, and it did not look like the other had noticed him at all. 

During those dull days one though did not give Hongjoong’s mind peace. Why the hell that bastard needed to tell him what he had done personally in the fist place? Was it because of their first interaction, when he had stepped in to protect Mr. Choi? Or there was no reason at all, and Mingi just wanted everyone to be scared of him, hence the demonstration of power? That was just sadistic. 

Now Hongjoong had only one person left for whom he cared and that was Wooyoung. His friend had tried to distract him during the hard times, but since he could not take failures pretty well, he more than often stormed out of his room pissed at Hongjoong for not following up with him. He cared for his friend, but he did not take it serious when Wooyoung tried to distract him with sex educating advises or examples. First of all it was inappropriate and secondly - very very wrong, at least at the moment.   
Just by thinking of Wooyoung’s latest attempt to teach him lap dancing, Hongjoong cringed and shook up his head so he could clear his head of those images. Then he realized that he was almost ‘home’ and an uncomfortable feeling washed over him. He knew that nothing interesting awaited him once he made to his floor and that just brought down his mood even lower than before. Nonetheless, he got inside the elevator and pressed the button for 23rd floor. He immediately planned to run towards his room and not look around in attempt to see if someone had replaced Mr. Choi by the fire, surrounded with people .. that would be just too much for him to take.   
People could not be replaced like that. They were not machines, were not some software that could be upgraded, updated or deleted whenever someone decided it was the right time to do so. 

So when the doors of the elevator opened, something very unexpected happen - right in front of him there were Seonghwa, whom he knew as he was close to Wooyoung, and Mingi. He did not have time even to blink when he witnessed how Mingi slapped the hooker right across the face.

To say that Hongjoong was shocked would be understatement. 

“Fuck off.” Mingi said coldly at the guy and gripped his arm harshly, trying to shove him into the elevator. 

“I didn’t mean to, Mingi, just listen to me.” The black haired male tried to apologize, only angering Mingi even more as the other let out an amused laughter before throwing a punch straight to his pretty face. 

“Don’t fucking call me by my name, I dare you. Fucking scam.” He hissed and pushed the guy inside the elevator, just then noticing that this scene was happening in front of somebody else. When he recognized Hongjoong’s face, he took a step back and straightened his own coat. “Evening, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong was not a coward or anything, but he knew better than to mess in between such interactions. Seonghwa’s clothes were wrinkled and a few buttons were missing from his shirt, while the clothe was unsuccessfully trying to cover his chest. He stepped out of the elevator and as he passed by the other, he questioningly looked at him, as if asking him if he was alright, but the other just smiled and pressed a random button on the panel. 

He had not expected to witness any of this, and most of all he did not expect to be that shocked of such scene. It only reminded him what Mingi was capable of. 

“You resolve your problems with violence.” He stated lowly but made no further attempt to run for his room, as he had planned before. He wanted to confront Mingi. Something within him was burning every time the other was close to him and he just knew that he could play on the other’s nerves. How and why he was sure about that, he did not know. But he was going to test it. 

Mingi smirked. “If you want to imply what had happened with your old daddy, you can stop suggesting.” He said, putting his arms locked behind his back as he took a comfortable position, probably sensing that Hongjoong wasn’t going to leave that fast. 

Sharp pain pierced Hongjoong but he was not going to backoff. Fuck it, he thought. 

“Oh, I’m not suggesting anything. You already told me.” Even though at the back of his mind an alarm rang that the other could easily make him disappear, as he had done with Mr. Choi, at the moment he felt angry, stupid and brave. “Why? Does it bother you that I’ll remind you every time that you’re a killer?” 

“But I am a killer.” The other confirmed, staring all over Hongjoong for a moment. “And let's talk about my problems being resolved aggressively. What problems do you think I might have with a lame scam like that one?” He nodded at the elevator and burst into nasty laughter. “Let me tell you. He can’t suck dicks, that's considered as a problem, right?”

“Why didn’t you show him then?” Hongjoon realized that he was only replying back so he could annoy the other, not paying any real thought in what he was saying and how ridiculous it may sound. “He needs to learn such skill from a master, you know.” 

Mingi blinked once, looking taken aback for a second. But as usual, he recovered quickly and his hands moved from behind his back, pressing firmly against Hongjoong’s chest. He gave him a push hard enough to send him back and when he hit the wall, Mingi stepped closer to him and punched the wall beside his head. 

“Listen to me, little bitch.” He started, talking low and angry, staring straight in his eyes. “You are trying to piss me off, but that’s not a good idea, so you better give up on that.”

And once again staring in those eyes, made Hongjoong wonder why they seemed so familiar and why it excited him to see his own reflection in them… it was beyond him, so much that he felt lost. 

“Why, you gonna shoot me, too? It’s too bad I’m young and I am useful to the society, right? You can’t cover the murder that easy.” In moments like this one, Hongjoong was happy that his mouth was faster than his brain, otherwise he was sure that he was going to say something entirely different. Also, he made no attempt to push the other or free himself from the close proximity. 

“Correct. My plans don’t include your death anyway.” Mingi said, but there was something in his eyes that wasn’t expressing anger anymore. He was smirking again, leaning low to face Hongjoong in a provoking way, having both of his hands on the wall. “But when you act like this, you make me wanna change the game.”

Mingi pulled back after his last words and turned on his heels, heading towards the rooms.. 

Hongjoong took a deep breath before he decided to make his way to the only place that could bring him peace. The place that was still empty and for a second there he was happy, since that meant that no one was that crazy that could replace his dear old friend. He sat down on his usual chair and wondered why it was so easy to come back here after that fateful evening when he was bluntly told of a murder. He had thought that it would be too hard for him, yet it was not. His head was full of too many things. And the main topic was the crazy bastard Mingi. What did this guy mean with those last words?

Then he realized something else and that made him laugh loudly. He was the worst person alive. Because he did not really miss Mr. Choi, he did not miss the person who had kept him rooted on the same spot night after night. It was the fantasy that he was missing, the fantasy which the older man had been dragging him into. A world where there was light and not darkness. Where there were colors and real nature and not mud and dirt. 

Now, wasn’t he even worse than the guy that murdered his dear ‘friend’?

******************

Wooyoung’s boring days continued in a loop for too long. He wasn’t thinking about his own self degrading actions recently and tried to focus on the most important matter- he was special.   
He didn't think of himself as a stupid guy, so there was no need to let someone else convince him in the opposite. 

He didn’t care about other people’s opinions in the first place, so his mind got occupied with nothing else but the idea of surviving another month in The Shelter. 

Wooyoung fucked a lot during these days and he could admit to himself that his ego finally recovered. He was back to being a good bitch, pleasing whoever came to seek his service and listened carefully to what those people had to say about him. 

Lies. It was all false words, words that didn’t matter, they had no weight on his heart and he was just accepting the compliments without questioning them. Those people who took him in their bed had no idea who he was, but they still called him beautiful and stunning.   
Just like San, they expressed their opinion even though they had no idea what was hiding behind that cover that Wooyoung was putting on for everyone. 

San had no idea who Wooyoung was, but he still called him a stupid whore. Dirty. Dirty whore was the right term. 

It'd been days since Wooyoung had last seen the guy and he felt like he could pay him a visit late in the night. The broken clock on his wall was showing 9pm. It wasn’t that late. 

Wooyoung walked out of his room and looked down at his outfit, double checking if it was too exposing or too boring. He had no idea, but he loved to dress in black. 

“Wooyoung.” He turned to the sound of Seonghwa’s voice and frowned, seeing a bruise on his face. “I think I’m in trouble…”

Wooyoung frowned, feeling a bit taken aback by the sight of this. It was rare for someone to lose control and hurt the Entertainers. Their job didn’t consist pain, they weren’t allowing anyone to express anger on their faces or bodies, so this was absurd. 

“Report him.” Wooyoung said and reached out to touch his friend’s face, carefully wiping the blood from his full lip. 

“I can’t… he is… he is of higher rank.” Seonghwa mumbled and faked a smile, trying to soothe the rising anger of his friend. “It doesn’t hurt that much.”

“That’s not the point. Seonghwa, we should never let them hurt us.” Wooyoung hissed and pulled his hand back. “Don’t let some asshole treat you bad.”

Seonghwa smiled, this time more relaxed. He nodded his head and continued on his way. “It will be all over soon.”

“The fuck is this supposed to mean?” Wooyoung asked, watching at his friend’s back as he continued down the corridor and entered his room as if he didn’t hear his question. 

It was weird, because Seonghwa was a simple, very beautiful and nice guy. He wasn’t getting himself in troubles and strictly kept the rules. What was wrong with him now? 

Wooyoung was thinking about his friend on his way to that fucked up room that he was visiting way too often. He was already there when hesitation struck him strong. What did that mean? What the fuck did it mean?   
Was he developing some sort of feelings for that fucker? Feelings based on what? The offensive words that San had always used to describe him? Or the fact that last time he basically kicked him out of his room? 

Yes, Wooyoung could take more kicks on his sexy ass, especially now when he felt irritated over the brief meeting with Seonghwa. Wooyoung himself felt threatened by San, but the fucker didn’t even lay a finger on him. 

As if Wooyoung had some fucking disease. Like he was the plague. Like he was really disgusted by him. But then again, why would he always let him in?

Because Wooyoung was pretty, that's why. 

His confidence was high tonight. His hair was damp from the shower that he had taken before he went out of his room, and he'd picked a deep v-neck black shirt to show off with all of his hickeys. 

He knocked on the door and waited, biting his bottom lip when he heard some movement from the other side of the door. His heart dropped in his stomach the moment when he heard the click of unlocking and seconds later, San’s sexy face showed up on the doorway. 

Damn, was he really born in that fucked up place?   
San looked similar to him - having his hair wet, pushed back strictly, his sharp eyes captured Wooyoung in a fucked up glare and for a second there, Wooyoung felt weak in the knees. He had no idea that a glare could turn on someone that fast, but he hoped that it wasn’t too obvious. 

Plus, San wore no top again and one look down at his torso triggered something in Wooyoung.   
He was about to say some bullshit, compliment the guy for owning a God like body, but the healed wounds from bullets had caught his attention.   
Why didn’t he notice the first time? 

His lips parted, the bullshit was really about to slip through his mouth, it was on the tip of his tongue, but something else was running on his mind and Wooyoung questioned the drink that he had with his dinner. 

He saw himself, like in a fog, a distant imagination of a moment that he had never experienced. He was on his knees, holding San down on the ground. He could even feel that desperate dreading feeling, as he watched how blood was pouring out of the other's chest. 

Really, Wooyoung was a big dreamer sometimes. 

“Fuck, you got me shaking here, San.” He said teasingly and tried to push away the image that plagues his mind, blowing a kiss towards the other male. “Miss me?”

“If I say yes, would you offer yourself as a price?” San moved aside and let the entertainer inside his room. Once Wooyoung received permission by the owner of the room, he wasted no time in rushing inside, since this had been his intention from the beginning. He heard the click of the door when it was closed. San moved swiftly in front of him and showed him his dimpled smile. 

“He can smile.” Wooyoung replied and laughed, not really understanding what had happened to that asshole. He probably had the same bad drink as Wooyoung at the dining room, otherwise he wouldn’t be smiling like that. But damn, that smile was one of a kind. “Careful, there is a threat coming when you show me sights like that.”

Then San’s smile disappeared from his face, yet he closed the distance between them and intentionally left a few inches between their noses. “Tell me Wooyoung… why do you want to sleep with me that desperately?” An eyebrow was raised mockingly. 

It didn’t even run through his mind before San actually got too close to him and asked such thing casually. He bit his bottom lip slow enough to catch the other’s attention and ignored the joke that San just threw at him. 

“What are you talking about, I’m innocent. Just coming by to give you the best view that you can ever have. Of me.” He said in the same way and winked at the other.

“Yeah right.” San moved back and with a few steps he was beside his bed, taking a shirt that was laying there. He put it on and then turned around to face the other, as if he was wasting time on purpose not talking with him. “I don’t know how you can do this. To humiliate yourself so much … you should not do such thing for anyone, even for me.” His voice was no longer playful, but serious. More serious than he probably wanted it to be. 

Wooyoung sighed dramatically, faking a mood that wasn’t currently on his mind. But what San was trying to do right now was to give him a lecture, educate him how to not embarrass himself in front of anyone and it was an irony how a minutes ago Wooyoung had done the same with Seonghwa. He looked at the other, staring right at his serious eyes and he could swear that this look was talking to him. 

“I just…. never met a bastard like you.” He said with a shrug, trying to make it sound funny even if he was back to thinking about that image that he had with San. Wasn’t that crazy? “I was imagining that I was taking care of you when I saw your wounds. But I can’t stop thinking about it. Who the fuck shot you here?” 

“I was dumb enough to try to save my partner.” San replied while he intently stared at Wooyoung, his eyes were scanning him as if he was searching for flaws. “Don’t know who shot me… so you like to imagine things… now that is something I might be interested in.” He leaned on the table, crossing his ankles. 

Wooyoung took a good look at him and wished San wasn’t so hot right now, because his imagination wasn't anywhere on the battlefield now and he wanted to laugh at the things that he was starting to see in his sick mind. 

“Really?” He said and stepped closer to the other, throwing him a playful smile. “How about me and you, over this table that you lean so carelessly onto? You can flip me over if you like or I can do it for you. I can be both.”

Disappointment was written all over San’s face. “How about you don’t imagine anything related to sex. What comes to your mind?” 

Wooyoung wanted to ask him if he was under investigation or something, but somehow tonight San wasn’t insulting him, so a small chat with him wouldn’t hurt anyone. He tried to think about non sex related stuff and it was easy, since this bastard wasn’t anywhere close to jumping on Wooyoung. Maybe that was holding his interest, maybe San was a different type of a guy. 

“Before I reply, I want you to tell me something. Honestly, am I not hot enough?” He asked, tilting his head curiously. “I’ve been told lies my whole life. And you seem like an honest guy. Shoot me.”

“Why do you need my approval anyway? I am nobody to you.” San shot back while his eyes once again checked out Wooyoung from head to toe. “Do you consider yourself hot? If yes, then my opinion has no meaning…” 

Wooyoung wanted to argue, but his words got stuck in his throat when another image flashed through his head. It was a moment of a deep argument. He was the one yelling, San was sitting on a bed, looking grudgingly at him. Wooyoung was hesitating, talking about something that he could never imagine himself to discuss. Gun shot that went wrong. He wanted to quit, yelling about families, how his life meant nothing and that was so damn related to himself right now that he felt pain in his skull. 

“Don’t talk.” He mumbled, moving back to the bed and just sat down there, thinking about that fucked up scene. He hadn't imagined shit like that before, especially with a guy that he had met three times. Especially when in his imagination San was calling himself his family. A friend, but damn even in that situation, Wooyoung wasn’t considering himself as only friend. But he didn’t tell the other anything, just stormed out of the room. 

“Okay then.” San acknowledged the other’s request and remained silent for the next couple of minutes. He did not move, also. Only his stare was even more magnified over Wooyoung', who did not back down from the eye contact between them. 

And Wooyoung was reliving through something that had never happened to him. He was seeing the mountains that Hongjoong was telling him about, he was driving a car even, he was in woods, houses, places. And San was everywhere, smiling, looking at him as if he was important to him, in some of these flashbacks Wooyoung was even remembering feelings, emotions that he had while looking at that guy. 

Wasn’t that way too fucked up? 

He felt how his palms started sweating, while he was forcing himself to come back to reality. None of that crap had happened to him, but it felt hard not to think about it. 

There was something else that this Wooyoung in his head forgot to tell San.   
That he was fucking in love with him. 

“Okay, we have nothing to talk about.” He said in a rush, standing up from the bed as he felt how the air in that room wasn’t enough for both of them. Just like the guy who was a coward in his head, Wooyoung wanted to run away.

Before he could leave the room, a strong grip stopped him on his way and he looked aside, seeing San’s serious face in a blur. 

“I can never be your customer, Wooyoung.” 

Wooyoung frowned, but he agreed with the other without even thinking about it. 

“I know.” He said and pulled his hand back, not thinking about saying goodbye or some of his usual bullshit. This time he left the room more disturbed than he had ever been, trying to fight some fucked up desires, because wasn’t all of that happening because of his need to feel special? 

He was imagining shit just because he knew that he would never have it, and San was just a perfect victim. 

But then what about that gun shot? What about that night when Wooyoung told San that he hadn't cared about his opinion and just left his house angry, thinking about something weird. 

Love.

*********


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A day after that eventful night where he was delusional enough to daydream about a life outside the Shelter, Wooyoung was told that Seonghwa was dead. 

Yeosang was by his side silently, both of them holding the black roses that people were given when mourning over someone, who had died inside the Shelter.  
The cause of death was a bullet to the head. Close up gun shot that had killed Seonghwa on the spot he was told. 

Wooyoung was wondering over so many things that his mind was getting confused. He wondered if Seonghwa had been scared when the shooter came to his room and ended his life, he wondered if that fucker had humiliated Seonghwa before pulling the trigger. Wooyoung’s hurtful thoughts circled around circumstances, reasons, there had to be at least one reason for his friend’s death, but he could not find it. 

He couldn’t just get shot in his room for no reason. If he had done something wrong, he would be the next to leave the Shelter when the first day of the next month hit the calendar. 

And yet… Wooyoung managed to somehow remember the last thing that Seonghwa had told him just a day ago. 

“It will be all over soon.”

He had known. He had known that he was in trouble, he’d even tried to tell Wooyoung about it and mentioned a guy of higher rank. 

Seonghwa had gotten himself into some shit and got killed because of it. He however had not looked scared at all that night, or maybe Wooyoung was too stupid to notice while his attention was entirely occupied by that bastard San. 

“I am hurt.” Wooyoung mumbled, holding Yeosang’s hand so tight as if he was going to be the next person to leave his life. No, he wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. But these murders around here were getting too often. 

It was happening for a reason. It had happened in Hongjoong’s station and now in Wooyoung’s. It wasn’t a coincidence. 

“Me too, I still can’t believe.” Yeosang looked at him and his eyes glistened with tears. “What if we get hurt too? We can’t protect ourselves.”

Wooyoung’s eyes screwed. He had no idea what he felt stronger- the pain or the hatred. His head was full of Seonghwa, of his beautiful smile that he would never be able to see, of his pretty eyes that used to look playful while he was sharing with Wooyoung some naughty story. He was a good guy. 

Yet, he died like a fucking trash. 

“I will find out who killed him.” Wooyoung said, squeezing his friend’s hand. He stared at the fear that filled up the other, but ignored it. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore. It was time for them to act. “Then I will steal a weapon….”

“Wooyoung, no.” Yeosang raised his voice at him. “You will get yourself in trouble. We cannot revenge Seonghwa…”

“I can. I can kill.” Wooyoung’s words slipped easily. He was sure that he could use San’s knife as good as San could use it himself. He just had to go back in his fucking room, talk some bullshits again and steal the knife. Then he was going to ask Hongjoong for information, since his precious old friend had died the same way a week ago. It wasn’t a coincidence. The guy who killed Seonghwa could be the same person who killed Mr. Choi. Hongjoong needed to be careful too.

But then again….didn’t this mess start right after Hongjoong told Wooyoung about those two guys, who came to his station and started giving orders out of nowhere? Wasn’t Seonghwa asking for Wooyoung’s help to please those men as well? 

Wooyoung had to be proven right before he dared to kill someone. 

“Don’t be reckless. Your life…” Yeosang spoke again, but Wooyoung was already on his feet. 

“My life is shit.” He said ironically, dropping down the black rose only to step on it with his boot. “I’m a worthless dirty whore, a bastard who got born to be a hooker. My brother is fucking dead too, my father could be anyone here. I’ve had enough.”

“Wooyoung, are you okay?” his friend looked worried, but Wooyoung just shook his head.

Of course, he wasn’t okay. He lost a friend. 

“I need to talk to Hongjoong. I must hear what he knows about these fuckers. And tell him to be careful, too. Maybe I can steal another weapon and give it to him…” Wooyoung started walking towards the exit of the room when Yeosang stood up as well and tried to stop him. 

“Wooyoung, you are not a killer.” the blonde boy looked scared and terrified, shaking his head violently. “You are an Entertainer, you must…”

“I am a fucking bitch, this is what I am.” Wooyoung hissed, pulling his hand back and reached to open the door. 

“You didn’t want this… I didn’t want it. But this is the life that we have here…”

Wooyoung laughed. “Is it? Until when? Until that fucker kill us both as well?”

“Wooyoung, a guy from the machinery is asking for you.” Someone came into the room before he could escape and both of them looked at the young Jongho whose big eyes stared curiously at the two friends. 

He didn’t look like he mourned for Seonghwa, at all. 

“Tell him to fuck off. I have plans tonight.” Wooyoung shot the boy with a glare and escaped the room, hearing Yeosang’s deep sigh.

“I will go. It doesn’t really matter who will fuck that guy.” He said and yelled after Wooyoung. “You can’t change anything, baby, don’t do something stupid.”

He didn’t reply, he just headed on his way blindly, ignoring everyone. That elevator was so full tonight, people were chatting around him, some of them were openly talking about him and he tried to ignore it as if he was deaf. He probably fucked some of them, probably would fuck the rest, it wouldn’t surprise anyone that the stupid bitch is going down on his knees for everyone. 

Seonghwa’s face showed up in front of him and he felt how his breath hitched.  
The image of him, down on his knees, sucking a dick while there was a gun pressed to the side of his temple nearly got Wooyoung out of his skin. 

He felt how a cold shiver ran through him and he suddenly started paying attention to the comments. To all of them. 

“.... fucked him good once in the library. My friend got his turn after me and filled up his sexy ass.”

Wooyoung’s eyes screwed and he caught himself glaring at the guy who was currently talking. Tall and young, kind of good looking. He smirked at the guy and made a step closer to him. 

“I remember now… your small dick that couldn’t even last for 30 seconds. Very weak shot at the end. This is probably why nobody wanna have sex with you.” He said and the guy frowned at him. 

“What the…” 

The elevator opened and Wooyoung was on his way out. He didn’t leave before he put a hand on that fucker’s neck and kicked him in the balls hard enough to smash them. The bastard folded in two and Wooyoung glared at the rest. 

“Beware of the whore.” He mumbled sarcastically, leaving the elevator and those nasty fuckers inside. 

Once the doors closed behind his back, he took a deep breath and looked around. Hongjoong. He needed to find his friend and talk privately to him. His eyes scanned the dirty place.It wasn’t that late yet, people were coming back from dinner, chatting together, doing random shit. Wooyoung looked aside at the small camp where Hongjoong used to love sitting around and saw him lightening up fire. 

He stepped closer to his friend and the other noticed him fast enough to give him a smile before he could speak. 

“Seonghwa is dead.” Wooyoung shoot his friend with information that he probably wasn’t aware of, and frowned. “Killed in the same way as Mr. Choi. I suspect it's the same guy who killed him. You spoke about two men coming here to give orders, that same night I was asked to join Seonghwa and please these motherfuckers.” Wooyoung spoke quietly, not even taking a breath while pouring his heart out to Hongjoong. “Who is the guy who killed Mr. Choi? Do you know who did it? Is it San, is that his name?” 

He wished that it wouldn’t be San. 

To say that Hongjoong would be shocked from the information that Wooyoung decided to share with him would be understatement. As soon as he noticed the determined look on his friend’s face though, he was on his legs and quickly pulled the other in his embrace. 

“I’m sorry, Wooyoung.” He felt how the other male wrapped his arms around his waist and knew that for once he was able to comfort the other. “I don't’ know what to say.” He continued but made no further attempt to elaborate since there was nothing that would made Wooyoung feel even slightly better. He knew that from experience. 

“Answer to my questions.” Wooyoung replied in a rush and pulled back to look at his friend’s face. Just like Yeosang, Hongjoong looked worried. Probably because he had been through the same shit a week ago and nearly recovered from the damage that some sick asshole had done. They needed to find out who killed Seonghwa. So Wooyoung frowned and put his hands on Joong’s face to get his attention and stared at him. “Was it San or no?”

“San?” Hongjoong wondered who that person could be but then connected the dots. The day when Mingi appeared into his life only to bring troubles he was with that other guy - the silent one. “No. Song Mingi killed Mr. Choi. The bastard even bragged about it.” Just thinking of the cruel act that the other had put in front of Hongjoong made his blood boil. 

Hongjoong put his own hands around Wooyoung’s ones and pulled them down from his face.

“What are you going to get yourself into? Don’t do it.” For some reason he was sure that Wooyoung had already made his mind and whatever he was going to say in order to try and convince him to dismiss the idea … Hongjoong knew that it was going to be a big failure. 

The other’s eyes darkened by the hatred that was filling his heart that night. Ever since he'd heard the news that his friend was murdered, Wooyoung couldn’t find peace. He felt as if something was wrong, messed up, something was going on and it was going on plan. 

These guys, whoever they were, they came bringing trouble with themselves. And they were probably sure that nobody would say a word about their actions. Hongjoong did. Wooyoung was about to. 

“I don’t know, I have no idea, but I need you to be safe, okay? I’ve got you and Yeosang, I can’t let you die, okay?” He said quietly, hearing people’s conversations again as they were passing by for their rooms. It wasn’t that safe to talk in that camp, but Wooyoung was on the edge to burst and he needed answers instead of safety. 

That Song Mingi was going to pay for what he did. 

Hongjoong laughed awkwardly at the other’s words, not really wanting to accept them too much into his heart. “Nothing is going to happen to me or Yeosang. We are doing our parts, contributing. Everything is going to be fine. Don’t go crazy now.” 

Wooyoung wanted to protest, he wanted to remind Hongjoong that Seonghwa had been contributing very well before that fucker killed him, but he heard a familiar voice in the distance and looked to the side to see a pair of two guys walking slowly through the corridor, headed for the rooms.  
His eyes stared at San’s built form and he noticed the uniform that he was wearing while walking beside a tall guy, whose clothes looked exactly the same. Black. 

Wooyoung noticed the weapons too. He saw guns attached to the guy’s thighs, he saw a smirk dancing on the taller one’s lips and something inside him flipped. 

“Is this him? That's Song Mingi?” He nearly whispered, hoping that Hongjoong was paying attention too, because San and his friend were about to go upstairs for the rooms and he didn’t want to miss bumping into them. 

“I can’t stand the guy too, but you’d better not mess with him.” Hongjoong took Wooyoung by the elbow and held him close. 

“So it's him…” Wooyoung ignored the warning and pulled his arm away, placing a deadly frown on his face while making his way towards the two armed men. His heart started racing as he was approaching, making it so precisely well that he was two steps away from bumping into Mingi and he did exactly that, shoving the guy back. 

The tall guy frowned, keeping his balance almost instantly, searching for the brave bastard who dared to push him around and his dark eyes glared back at Wooyoung when he seized him up and down. 

“Careful, scam.” The guy hissed like a snake, making a step towards Wooyoung.  
The tension that build up was so heavy that Wooyoung felt as if there was nobody else around them. He couldn’t even feel San’s presence, he had no idea if Hongjoong was coming to stop him or not, but looking at that fucker was making him furious. 

“I’m aware…” Wooyoung said, biting his bottom lip so hard that it hurt. His pulse was raising, he felt how his palms were sweating because of the anger that he was feeling all over again, being face to face with Seonghwa’s murderer. 

Mingi smiled nastily, shaking his head once. “No, you are not. You are still just the bitch who just lost a friend. Step the fuck away from me.” He put a hand on Wooyoung’s shoulder and shoved him back. 

That was when the blackout came furiously on him. Wooyoung’s body tensed and he dodged Mingi’s strong hand back, watching how his eyes twitched with fire. That fucking fire was the last thing that Seonghwa probably had seen before dying. 

“Why did you fucking do it.?” Wooyoung was about to throw a punch at Mingi’s face, but the other was faster, swinging his arm towards him and the next thing that he felt was the cold point of a gun, pressed to the side of his temple. 

“Step back.” Mingi replied and nothing was left from his previous smile. His eyebrows were furrowed now, lips pressed in a thin line. 

But damn, Wooyoung’s body was burning with rage and he had no idea how to stop himself. 

Hongjoong showed up just in time to grab the gun and pushed it with all his might. 

“The fuck are you doing?” To be honest he was not sure to whom this question was directed first - to Wooyoung who was acting crazy from the loss of his friend or to Mingi who looked like he did not need much in order to get rid of people. And in the current situation, those two being close to each other was a dangerous combination.

“Cat fight.” Apparently that was the San guy who just stared from aside and did not take any action in order to prevent the unthinkable. Hongjoong was carefully taking glimpses of Mingi who was staring at Wooyoung with such passion that for a second there Hongjoong was taken aback from what he was witnessing. On the other hand, Wooyoung was not backing down and was even ready for second attack. 

“He is so good, isn’t he. A hero.” Mingi nodded at Hongjoong’s direction, implying something that Wooyoung understood on the second. “Messing his ass everywhere.”

“I know who you are now.” Wooyoung ignored his words, feeling a sudden rush of emotions that were taking out a side of him that was probably sleeping for too long. He didn’t plan to act scared and shake by the sight of a gun. No, he could do so much more. But in order to keep Hongjoong safe, he backed away first, bowing at Mingi.

“Should I be scared?” Mingi laughed, swinging the gun in his hand playfully.

“I know who you are now.” The other replied again and just then looked away from Mingi. 

“That’s quite enough, Wooyoung.” San’s serious face did not flinch when Wooyoung accusingly glared at him. He however, grabbed the entertainer by the hand and pulled him towards himself. “You actually need to pay me attention now. And I know how much you want this.” A small smile shone on his lips and made a gesture with his free hand towards the end of the corridor, where his room was located. 

“You should do what you are told to. Don’t be that brave again.” Mingi pointed the gun at Wooyoung’s direction, but the other was already walking after San, not noticing his mocking actions. His eyes were on the other pair for a while, until they disappeared for the rooms and just then Mingi looked back and at Hongjoong, his face entirely switching in a different expression. He was back to being serious, staring at him as if he had million questions to ask. But he ended up asking just one. 

“Do you hate me?”

Hongjoong was taken aback from that question, as it came from out of nowhere. “What?” Why every time the other asked him something he had to look dumb, asking the same stupid ‘what’ time after time? For a moment there he was irritated at himself for even wondering about that. He should not care how he looked like in the other’s eyes. If it was really true that he had killed one more person. “Actually, I don’t want to know... Did you really kill Seonghwa?” 

Mingi sighed. “What kind of expectations do you have for me?” He asked, lifting his right hand up until the end of the gun wasn’t pressed against Hongjoong’s jaw. He pushed the other’s head up and smirked. “I did. I can tell you about it, because you are always curious. What are you even thinking? Death is death, I’m just the punisher.”

Hongjoong did not really like to be at gunpoint. “And you want to punish everyone? Why? Your mother did not love you enough when you were a child or what? How can you just kill people as if they mean nothing?” He did not bother to move away from the gun even though he was pretty sure that Mingi was not really serious about killing him right now. Maybe the look in his eyes was reveling something that Hongjoong could not understand, but he preferred to think that it was a glint of playfulness. He wanted to laugh at himself because the expression on Mingi’s face was everything but playful. 

“It’s the end of the world, Hongjoong. How much time do you think that we have here? How long do you think we can live here?” Mingi replied, keeping his voice quiet. His hand moved again and he pulled the weapon away from Hongjoong, grabbing his jaw with his other hand. “You are messing with me and it doesn’t go unnoticed. What do you want from me?”

Confusion and more confusion - that was what Mingi was bringing to Hongjoong. What the other was talking about was actually what he was also afraid of. How much time the humanity could continue to live under the ground? How long would the machines keep running and keep them safe from the freezing temperatures from above that were slowly creeping down, reminding everyone that they were soon going to run out of the borrowed time? No matter how fast delivery boys and girls like him were running, some day their luck was going to cheat and fail them all. 

That thought alone was the scariest. 

“Look at me.” Mingi forced him to meet his eyes and he was frowning when Hongjoong distractedly looked at him. “One day we are both going to wake up with no air. It doesn’t matter where I come from or where do you come from. It doesn’t matter what floor you sleep in, what fucking room, it doesn’t fucking matter because it’s all the same.” He reminded Hongjoong of things that he was aware of, but everyone needed hope in order to move on and keep living. “This is why… people don’t mean anything to me. I don’t mean a thing.” He said sarcastically, but his other hand moved up as well and he was cupping Hongjoong’s face, leaning towards it. “I wanna give it to you. I wanna give you air.” 

Before Hongjoong could have time to assimilate what Mingi was talking about, the other was already pressing his full lips over his own. The connection between them lasted merely a second, it could not even be considered a kiss, as the taller one quickly grabbed Hongjoong’s waist and forcefully pushed him back, until his back hit the wall behind. His head also made a hard bump on the hard surface and a painful sigh left his lips. Once again he could not recover from the harsh treatment as Mingi was all over him, pressing chaste kisses over his neck, licking and biting him. Hongjoong felt attacked. 

“Mingi, what are you…” Mingi however did not want to hear what the shorter one intended to say, so his lips shut him up quite successfully. And then as if Hongjoong could not think straight, he felt as if he had experienced the exact same situation. Deja vu?  
The bruising way the other’s lips were moving over his own, the way the other’s palms were touching him, as they found their way inside his shirt, the scratches that those fingernails were leaving over his sides.  
Even the scent that was coming off from the other was familiar. 

Mingi bit Hongjoong’s lower lip, which pulled the other from the stupor that he had drown into, and that only fired the shorter one more. He brought his arms up and circled them around Mingi’s neck, trying to pull him into himself. He wanted to hold onto the taller one and keep him close. 

“Where were you?” He asked “You’re late again.” 

That stopped Mingi's hands instantly and he pulled back to look at Hongjoong for a brief moment. His eyes rolled all over the shorter one’s face and a quiet curse slipped through his lips, followed by another one. In a matter of seconds, Mingi was back, detaching himself from Hongjoong as if he got burn by something that he had done or said. 

“Shit.” Mingi cursed again, picking up the gun that he'd dropped on the ground and brushed a hand through his face, recovering from their small make out way too quickly. And then as he looked back at Hongjoong, he laughed angrily. “A bit crazy, are we?” He implied to what Hongjoong said previously and put the gun safely on its place on his thigh. “Go back to your room.”

With that he turned around and left the scene first, leaving Hongjoong leaning on the wall. 

********************


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

The door got closed behind San’s back as he was gentleman enough to let Wooyoung to get inside first. Questionably good for someone who was treating him like a scam as well, copying his friend’s attitude, just a bit softer maybe. 

He turned around to argue, finding San’s eyes on him and that brought up hundred questions to his bothered mind. 

“Do you pity me?” He asked, his voice raising at the last word as he couldn’t understand that look the other was giving him; The reason why San was even looking at him or why he pulled him away from Mingi. “You think that I’m weak, don’t you? But that fucker can’t stand a chance if he doesn’t have his fucking weapons.”

San stoically stared at Wooyoung for a few more seconds before he decided to share a piece of his mind with the other. 

“You know what? I’m fed up with you and your complaining.” Even though his words were coming quickly and sharp, reminding anger - his face did not show anything to the other, or at least he was sure that Wooyoung was not going to notice anything, because the brat was only hearing and seeing what he wanted. Wooyoung was not paying any attention to the clues that he was given, and that made San lose it a little there. “What are you going to do exactly ? For how long can you play the victim character here? How long are you going to pretend? Man up, damn it.” 

Wooyoung’s mouth closed. What the fuck was that outburst about? 

“Listen to me, you lunatic.” He stepped bravely towards the other and reached out for his uniform. San’s expression didn’t even tremble, but Wooyoung was shaking from anger, because it didn’t seem like anyone around him could fucking understand him. “Have you ever seen me crumbling down? What are you, my fucking stalker?” Wooyoung asked, getting suspicious over the San's loss of temper. “As far as I know, I keep in touch with you for one reason only. Your fucking tongue spill bullshit too easily and I can’t help but be interested about it. Let's put the cards down, you and me.”

“Done.” San looked like he couldn’t wait for what was about to happen. “The only reason why you ‘keep in touch with me’..” San sarcastically quoted Wooyoung as his true character was finally on the edge and about to show off “is because your whorish character can't take a simple _no_ for an answer. Yes, I pity you." A sharp intake of air was needed due to the intensity of his words, but that did not stop San, as he continued "You willingly spread your legs for whomever wants to own you for the night.. oh sorry, you do it during the days as well. As long as that keeps you sated you’re okay to be treated like a scum." A mocking glare followed Wooyoung's body from head to toe, clearly done only to make his point even clearer. "So don’t go around shouting and punching people, because you’re suddenly being mocked as one. You’re the one who accepted the role of a scum. Now you want out?” San raised his voice at that last part, his whole body was tense from everything that he had poured out at Wooyoung, but he obviously did not care anymore. “Then fucking close those legs and do something finally to free yourself.”

“Who the fuck are you to tell me all of that?” Wooyoung yelled at him openly, not keeping in mind the difference in their ranks, the fact that San was fucking armed to the top of his head and damn, that was making him feel like he couldn’t stand his own skin. It was a message, clearly. Wooyoung wasn’t that blind and deaf. He could clearly see that something cracked in San's pretense, but he couldn’t tell what the hell just happened. 

San was trying to open Wooyoung's eyes for something and the latter had already taken the decision for himself. There were two ways out of this mess. His current emotions exploded once San’s deep eyes locked at him and he expected something from him. 

Wooyoung’s chest was filled up with dancing flames, his hands trembled from the force with which he was trying to keep himself together. With a fast and determinate move he reached for the gun that was attached to San’s thigh and pulled it skillfully well, holding it in his hand as if he was born for this. 

The weight of that weapon was strangely familiar and Wooyoung pointed it at San’s face, his breath hitching when the other just raised an eyebrow at him. 

But then Wooyoung’s next action surprised both of them. He turned his hand, pointing the gun to the side of his own head.

Wooyoung started seeing things again, weird fucked up ones that belonged to someone else’s memory, not his own. Some past that he probably wanted to have, but would never achieve to even grasp, because of the fate that he had. It was disturbing to even think that San was right with his words. If Wooyoung stood against his role in the Shelter he was going to die anyway. 

So why not sparing himself the time and effort. 

“This is my way out and if there is God, he sent me you so I can shoot myself.” Wooyoung's sarcastic words were followed by the clacking sound of removing the fuse, which was the only safety that he had before that.

“Coward.” Disappointment was as if like written in San's eyes. He did not even look worried for Wooyoung, who was still keeping the gun to the side on his head. “You think that will free you? Then go ahead, take the bullet. Let me see if there is even one brain cell inside your head.” San shook his head and turned around showing the entertainer how disinterested he was in what Wooyoung was about to do.

And as if that attitude flipped the game again, Wooyoung felt how his hand trembled. He was one click away from his own freedom. One click away from finding peace like the one that the old Mr. Choi had been talking about. 

Wooyoung closed his eyes and tried to think. He was never at peace with himself, with what was happening around him. But if that was his role in the Shelter, then he was gulping it down as if it didn’t matter. But behind his closed eyes there was a different story - there was standing another person who was contradicting himself, always feeling nervous, always keeping secrets, always wanting to say one thing but never finding the balls to do it. 

What the hell had happened to him? 

Wooyoung’s hand relaxed and slid away, swinging beside his hip. 

He wasn’t thinking about himself here anymore, but about that other one, the coward who was having everything out there and didn’t even pay attention to it. _That one_ had eyes only for one person and it was the same guy who had his back at Wooyoung right now. 

He opened his eyes, only so he could take a look at San, feeling like he was someone else who was waking up from a weird dream. 

There wasn’t ice and cold out there, and most of all - it was **_warm_**. The night breeze was brushing against Wooyoung’s face while he was watching over San who was swimming in the sea. It was dangerous when he did that during the night, but San never cared about his own safety. Whenever when Wooyoung voiced his concerns about it, San used to laugh and tell him that he cared about him instead. 

Careless, that who San was, with dimples soaked with smiles and laughter. 

Wooyoung knew that he had to keep the gun so he focused on it right then and there, trying to erase that confusing mirage, even if it felt too realistic and consuming once again. He put the pistol on the back of his belt and stepped closer to San, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“San?” He asked, saying his name ten times softer than he had ever done and frowned when the unknown emotion showed even in his voice.

San clearly refused to turn around, as he stayed stiff with his back turned to him. He refused to witness what he had tried to prevent so many times before. “What? You have last wish or something?” came the rude reply. 

The newcomer sounded way too emotional for someone who acted as if he didn’t care. For a moment there, Wooyoung wanted to burst into laughter. He was constantly losing his mind, questioned the politics of the Shelter, wished to go and kill some random bastard, then acted like a good dog instead, because he wanted to remain alive - to contribute. Years after living like he was supposed to, he suddenly meets a guy who caught his attention with his strange attitude, then Seonghwa got killed as if he did not matter at all, afterwards Wooyoung decided to threatened his own life and on top of that - Wooyoung was emotionally connecting to an illusion that started to clear the things in his head and made sense.

He figured out the story, but he wasn’t sure if it was good for his mental health so think about it. To believe it.

It felt nice, and if fate was showing him the path to a clear suicide, maybe San was right. He was indeed a coward. 

He had to take Song Mingi down and then kill himself. 

But that Wooyoung who was showing up in his head, the one who was keeping his secrets, _he_ was the real coward, so he felt like he should give him a chance. 

Wooyoung pulled San’s shoulder and turned him around, going for the act before the other could open his filthy mouth and spill more of his poison. He kissed San like he and the one in his head desired to do for too fucking long, and it felt so unknown that his lips trembled. 

But Wooyoung pushed his luck further, using the presented opportunity when San wanted to shove him back and protest, to slid his tongue inside his mouth and kiss him hard, because Wooyoung was the only one who had the balls to do it. 

San gripped Wooyoung’s waist and pushed him off himself harshly.

“Is that what you want?” The flicker in San's eyes excited Wooyoung. Before the entertainer could confirm his desire for the other, he noticed the anger written all over San’s face as it was more than obvious. But what the newcomer did not only surprised the other, but confused him as well. 

Wooyoung was rudely thrown at the bed and San did not waste any time in spreading his legs so he could settle between them. His mouth was willingly onto Wooyoung’s one and as the other gave him access inside for his tongue to fully explore his mouth. One hand was buried into Wooyoung’s hair, slightly pulling at it, while the other was reaching down, starting from his chest, making his slow progress south. He was exploring the other’s body and left no place untouched. 

Wooyoung did not make any sound of protest which only encouraged San to sneak his hand under his clothes. 

In that moment, Wooyoung’s body and mind finally worked together. He felt like these touches were the only thing that he needed that whole time and when he finally had San where he wanted him to be and it felt right. Like he finally opened up and accepted the attraction that he felt for that guy and it was distracting how San’s hand down there was touching him on the right way, pulling out sounds of him that he had never heard himself expressing with anyone before. 

Wooyoung's eyes rolled at the back of his head and he let the other take control, making San special in that simple way. For the first time, he didn’t have to be the one climbing someone, acting like a lame bitch to get him excited or talk dirty in order to please someone. It felt different, but his hands moved along the other’s body as well when he started to sober up from the passion. He appreciated the muscles under his fingertips, pulling away from the kiss so he could look at San. 

“Is this what you want as well?” Wooyoung struggled to speak, holding back the moans for a moment so he could hear the reply. He could not decipher what he saw in San's eyes when his own hands were trying to grab him anywhere they could and his legs wrapped around his waist to keep him close.

San however had other plans than those which were rolling inside Wooyoung’s head. He quickly took the other’s hands which were trying to pull him closer and lifted them over Wooyoung’s head, keeping them in place with one hand. His mouth was distracting the man beneath him with small kisses, then with another swift move from his side he unattached himself from the other’s legs. What he did was contradicting to everything that he'd believed in - he turned Wooyoung around and left him laying on his stomach. San still was gripping at the other's hands above Wooyoung's head, while his lips were leaving wet traces over the back of his neck. Then San started grinding against the other’s ass. He used his muscled thighs and spread Wooyoung’s legs wilder than before. 

“To use you like everyone else…” He continued humping against the delicious ass that was as if made for such sinful acts. Luscious hisses and grunts were leaving his lips, while he was getting more and more excited by rubbing his crotch against the fleshy ass. He started whispering into Wooyoung’s left ear. “Do you like it that I’m so turned on by what I’m doing to you?” His thrusts quickened the pace and for a moment there the clothes were too offending, too restricting. 

Wooyoung tried to free his hands, but San was keeping him exactly where he wanted him. 

“Don’t move.” A sharp intake of breath was taken, then a hard bite followed on the flesh between Wooyoung’s neck and shoulder. “Who said that you can do whatever you want? Aren’t you supposed to please me? I’m so pleased having you immobile and taking it willingly… so ‘nice’...” San was slowly getting there. He felt how Wooyoung’s body tensed beneath his own, but that did not stop him from moving against him. “You have nice ass… it excites me… but I don’t want you.” 

Wooyoung closed his eyes and kept them tightly shut. He wanted to be deaf too, because to feel and hear what San got for him was both humiliating and wrong. His heart was beating erratically when San made himself clear for nth time that his intentions were nowhere near what Wooyoung was imagining about him. 

In that moment, he wasn’t the whore that was giving everyone their daily dose of pleasure, but San’s friend who was dying to get him like that, desiring that fucker for more than ten years. 

Ten fucking years. 

“Get the fuck away from me.” He said through gritted teeth, thinking about the last bit of his pride which was shredding. 

San pressed harder against the other, clearly wanting to show him that he was not going to do as he now wanted him to do. 

“Why rejecting me now? You finally are going to receive what you’ve come so many times for.” He mocked Wooyoung and bit once again against his shoulder. “I’m not that good as the rest of your customers?” He continued with having no intention of moving away from the other. Yet Wooyoung’s struggles to free himself were getting stronger with each passing second. And once San's grip on the other hands loosened, Wooyoung wasted no time in reaching under himself and grabbing the gun that was laying there. San was harshly shoved aside on the bed once Wooyoung moved. He pointed the gun at San’s forehead.

He was panting from the hard struggle, his eyes wildly staring at San, taking in the details of his pretty face as if he was going to see it for the last time. The gun was once again pointed at San. 

It wasn’t easy to kill someone, Wooyoung figured when he couldn’t pull the trigger and blow up San’s head. Why not? It seemed so easy for someone to kill people around without even feeling sorry for it, but when it came to Wooyoung, he was not so willing to do it. 

San could really be his ticket out, but he couldn’t shoot him, despite the hatred that was trying to fight his feelings. No, he couldn’t shoot until the other was looking at him. 

“Damn it, I can’t even shoot you.” He hissed, losing the power of his hand as it dropped down in his lap and his heart instantly relaxed. “Is this how much you fucking respect me?” The words slipped easily, even if it felt hard to talk in the moment. Wooyoung felt a sudden need to pull away from the other and he did, escaping that bed. His eyes couldn’t leave San and for some reason he felt so heartbroken that it was crazy. “Despite everything that I’ve done for you, you came up with this shit, San?”

San’s expression changed instantly - the mockery was gone and replaced with coldness. He licked his lips then opened his mouth, but immediately closed it after that. He was looking at Wooyoung and only one thought was swirling in his mind, and as of now he was not sure if he could even let himself be glad about it.

“Elaborate, Jung.” San dared the other to continue. 

Wooyoung glared at him, his mind blank and open for the images that were haunting his head ever since San showed up on his horizon. Right now he gave up on fighting it and acted on instinct. But even this way, he felt as if there was a ball of emotions stuck in his chest and he knew that he was angry at the other. 

Bu mostly at himself. 

“You know that I could easily shoot you, but you don’t even care.” Wooyoung said and backed away again, something telling him to leave the room and stop talking. He didn’t. “You really are my way out of here, but you know, there is something that you’re not aware of when it comes to me. Can you guess?”

For the first time ever since San met Wooyoung here he had no idea what was happening inside the other’s head and that made him smile for real. 

“No.” He confirmed easily and waited for Wooyoung to win the upper hand in that situation. 

“That I am…” Wooyoung started talking against the raging emotions, getting angry at the thing that was stopping him to speak. The invisible barrier was crashing down and he felt like he was sweating, burning from inside out and every nerve in his body was pulled to the edge. “... I’ve been for a while…. in love with you. So you can’t…. talk to me like that.”

Right then and there, San’d preferred to take the bullet than hear those words leaving Wooyoung’s lips. 

“Leave.” Was all he could say. There was no longer a smile on his face. The anger was back. 

Wooyoung nodded. He felt it like another rejection and it seemed like nothing was more important than it. As if in that timeline nothing else mattered but that fucked up reply that San gave him. 

“If this is what you want.” Wooyoung said and kept the gun, having the clear intention to use it and turned on his heels, reaching for the door.

“I fucking want you to wake up.” 

Wooyoung closed his eyes, but angrily grabbed the handle of the door. His mind was still clear and finally things were starting to settle. He had another reason to leave that fucking face. The realization that no matter where they were, San would never want him was more painful than the fact that his disorientation left him clueless of what was real and what felt like illusion. 

But he was sure that what just happened in that room was what it was supposed to happen. 

He was there for too fucking long. 

“I did.” Wooyoung replied and left the room, rolling his eyes down on the gun. 

***********


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Wooyoung couldn’t sleep. His eyes were staring up at the ceiling and he felt like something was completely fucked up now. His body was shivering by both cold and heat, waves of feelings were making him feel sick and he was rocking on his bed, pulling his hair hard as if that was going to explain everything. 

He destroyed his room, but the feeling was still there, eating him alive. Everything was completely wrong. 

His memories were recovering when he was alone, he was reliving his own life all over again, figuring out that something had happened to him. He had no idea what he was doing here, or why he was living a life of somebody else. 

This wasn’t him, not anymore. And he ended up laughing like crazy, figuring out that he had no idea what was his identity for real. Who Jung Wooyoung was? 

Who the fuck was he and what was his purpose ? Did San have something to do with it? 

The crack of his old door made him look up and he saw a familiar face on his doorway. 

YeoSang, looking worried when his gentle eyes laid on Wooyoung. He probably looked like shit, but he didn’t even care. 

“We are in trouble, Wooyoung. I told you, you shouldn’t have left like that yesterday. I…” Yeosang stopped talking when Wooyoung’s head shook in denial and the boy just stared at him, approaching him carefully. 

Before he could touch him, Wooyoung reached to the side and grabbed the stolen gun, pointing it at the other. “Do you know who I am?”

“Wooyoung, where the hell did you get this from?” Yeosang looked shocked to see a gun pointed at him and that only made Wooyoung curious. 

Was he like him? Was he brainwashed, put in here to play this game along with him? Or he was the next liar who watched Wooyoung’s misery and tried to help him. What irony. Yeosang didn’t look like a person who was smarter than him. 

So Wooyoung could give his fake life some rest. 

“You are not awaken yet.” He said and smiled. “Have you ever thought what your purpose of existence is?”

“Wooyoung, something happened to you... “ The blonde boy was shaking, hugging his shoulders tight as he tried to protect himself from his crazy friend. Yes, if San did this to Wooyoung, he would have felt the same way. “Please don’t kill me.”

“Answer to my question then.” Wooyoung said and kept his hand straight, his thumb loading the gun. 

Yeosang’s eyes filled up with tears and he stepped back, looking at him as if he was seeing the devil. 

“I…. I don’t know. Please, you are scaring me. I can help you, we are friends, Wooyoung, don’t do this.” The boy nearly cried and Wooyoung’s heart clenched. He didn’t even blink when he felt like he could do whatever the hell he wanted. They took Seonghwa away from him, shooting him in the fucking head, because he was just a trigger for Wooyoung’s awakening. 

He was awake now, so Yeosang’s mission should be over as well. Maybe his purpose was different, maybe he was chosen to be tested as well, but Wooyoung was going to make a favor to him, and pull him out of that fucked up place earlier than he was predicted to leave. 

He shot his friend right there, feeling a pang at his heart. A small part of him was telling him that he just killed a person, but Wooyoung was aware now. This wasn’t real. 

He didn’t know how many people were in this, chosen as special, test objects. Toys. Some were in just to keep this lie alive and help the test subjects in order for them to succeed. 

They gave Wooyoung so many hints through the years, but he was stubbornly living that shity life until they sent him San. Fucked up and cruel. They sent the only person who mattered to him and Wooyoung knew why. 

He had a timeline, he had to be inside the project for a period of time before his body functions started shutting down. His 22 years of life here should be just several months in the real life.

If they wanted to stop this test, it probably meant that they found out what they wanted from his brain or just wanted to take him out because he had failed. 

Wooyoung was going to help the rest who were still asleep during his last hours in this place. 

His brain was giving signals now, the scientists probably knew that he was awake and it wouldn’t be too late before they pulled him out of this illusion. 

He loaded the gun again and glanced at Yeosang’s dead body while he passed it by and left the room. He hoped that Yeosang wouldn’t be too confused when he wakes up in the laboratory and scream. 

Wooyoung headed straight down to the stations where he wasn’t permitted to enter without invitation. He thought about Hongjoong. Hongjoong was a hundred percent test subject just like Wooyoung was. His purpose was probably to be a rebel, leader, or to get the fuck out of that place when they murder all of his friends. 

Wooyoung would be announced as a boy who went crazy, stole a gun from a customer and killed several people just because he felt sad about his friend’s death. They could cover that up just right and he was going to help them do it. 

Should he kill Hongjoong and wake him up too, just like he did with Yeosang? No, he shouldn’t. 

Hongjoong was close to finding his own way out, he was a smart boy who could bare the crumbling illusion once when it start happening. 

“You cannot be here.” Wooyoung saw the first guardians when the elevator doors opened in front of his face and the men tried to stop him. He smiled again and raised his left hand, ready to blow up their heads. 

His mind was clear when he shot the first guy, reaching out to stop the other one when he tried to pull out his own gun and stop the intruder. Wooyoung however was taught to protect and kill equally good, so he dodged the man’s hand and twisted it towards his body, shooting him with his own gun. 

The bodies fell in his feet and he proceeded in the corridor, concentrating over the survival game that he was playing right now. His purpose here was to go against the rules and wake up everyone else. Show them that they shouldn’t agree to be controlled by some fuckers and live in misery because of them. 

He was a role model - a whore with character, how ironic. 

“Drop the gun!” Another man pointed a gun at him, but Wooyoung shot him straight in the head, walking slowly towards the bedroom halls. He had never been here, he had never dared to stop on this floor, but somehow he knew that this was the right way. 

He was a captain, a young man who had a military title due to the fact that he was capable soldier, improving in his first years of service. He was in the special forces, he had been side to side with San his entire life, even at the field. But he couldn’t yet remember why the fuck he got stuck in this place. Did he choose it himself? 

Wooyoung wasn’t 22, he should be currently 25 at least, if something didn’t go wrong and he spent too much time inside the Shelter. 

His hands locked together in a tight grip over the gun and he pulled it up, shooting two other men who showed up on his way and pressed his back against the wall, panting. Was it going to hurt if somebody shoot him? He had been the bulletproof one in his team, they used to call him that in operations where only Wooyoung walked out with no wounds. San on the other hand was his bulletproof vest all the time, taking not just one but many bullets for him. The irony.

San was giving his life for Wooyoung all this time…

Wooyoung tried not to think about him, but his head ached when he forced himself to stop his mind from working. He had a lot to remember, a lot to process, but he was strong enough to hold on for a bit longer. 

“Fuck.” He felt sharp pain in his thigh and his leg gave in because of the muscle cramp that he got because of the hit. He looked down and fell on his knee for a moment, taking in a sharp breath. Fuck, the pain was so realistic that he felt lightheaded for a moment. Somebody shot him from somewhere and he knew that he had to move, but his leg was hurting so bad that he couldn’t move from his spot. 

Another shot came from the same place, this time missing to hit him. Wooyoung jumped to the side, coming out of his cover. He ignored the pain and let the adrenaline to keep him going as he walked further, bumping from wall to wall on his way to the next hall. Where the hell was he even going? Was he going to find someone or just shoot random people with no purpose?

He opened the door of a random room and took shelter there, putting a table across the door to create a small barrier between himself and the guardians. 

“Who… are you?” He heard someone’s voice and turned around, facing three men in suits, wearing nothing that he had ever seen in the shelter. Fancy clothes that nobody else owned. These men were staring at him like he was crazy, one of them pressing a button underneath the desk that he was sitting behind. His trained eyes caught the movement right away. 

Wooyoung read the name tag on the desk. Mr. Kim Kongjun. Whoever that fucker was, he just called out for help, so he lifted his arm up and shot him on the spot. 

The two other men screamed, one of them running to the fancy guy to check if he was alive, but Wooyoung’s precise shot and the fact that he fell from the chair showed everyone in the room that he was either dead on the verge of it. 

The third guy however, looked at Wooyoung and raised his hands up when he pointed the gun at him. 

“What is your name?” The man asked, trying to win some time. 

Wooyoung looked at him through his dizzy eyesight. He was young, probably his age. His hair was blue, curly. He was cute in a way, but if he was there he was probably some important motherfucker who lived on top of everyone else’s backs. 

“Wooyoung, sir.” He replied, loading the gun. “And your's?”

The guy nodded, giving him a small smile. “My name is Yunho. Are you going to kill me, Wooyoung?” He asked, not even looking scared by the fact that there was a corpse in that room and he was about to get himself killed as well. His life was in Wooyoung’s hands and he was determined to not leave any of these men alive. 

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Good. It was about time.” The Yunho guy said, still smiling and Wooyoung bit his bottom lip, preparing to blow up his head. 

He did it in the same time when someone started bumping on the door and many voices threatened him with words. 

The door opened and Wooyoung closed his eyes, waiting for the moment of impact. The first five bullets took his breath away. Three on his back, one on the shin, one in his shoulder. The pain was piercing and strong, way too realistic. He felt how his mouth started filling with his own blood and his eyes snapped open, rolling on the gun in his shaking hands. 

He fell on his knees, trying to grasp for air, hearing some voices calling out his name in the background, but his last strength was used to shoot the last guy in a suit before the pain overtook his whole being. Wooyoung spit blood, watching how the last of the three guys fell down, probably dead. And just then he let the gun slip out of his grasp and fell on the ground beside it. 

The impact with the floor was even more painful. Wooyoung’s eyes were wet, he couldn’t take any more breaths and whenever he tried, the sharp pain in his chest cut in the action and blood poured out of his mouth. 

He wanted to smile, but it hurt too much. A figure showed up above him but he couldn’t see the face of the man and then a warm hand was placed on his cheek, stroking it soothingly. 

He started losing it then, leaving that person to witness the hero’s progress. 

************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, finally we have the time to update this story xD  
> Wooyoung is not only awake now, but he takes actions in order to free himself. It was hard for us to kill one of our main characters but that was the only way for him ...   
> Thanks for staying with us until now. There are 3 more chapters and the story will be completed, yey. :)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 

Complete chaos was filling in the otherwise quiet station when Hongjoong finally called it a day, and ran back home. People were loudly discussing and shouting incoherent things. Then the announcement came. 

“Today massive shooting took the life of nine occupants of the Shelter. Investigation is on-going for the terrorist to be found and brought to Court.” The message was being repeated at least three times until Hongjoong actually assimilated what it meant. 

It was the first time in the new history of such outrageous act of violence being commited. When the whole humanity was so close to extinction, the desire to continue living was what held the people together. There were no longer separate great countries or nations. Those who managed to take shelter under the ground, when the Great Winter came upon them reached to the most logical and reasonable agreement - for everyone to live as one united nation so the population could survive. If Hongjoong remembered correctly, that had happened 67 years ago, if he could believe Mr. Choi’s words. 

So crime rate was not eradicated but reduced to the bare minimum. Nowadays, no one had any benefit of killing people, because that endangered their own survival under the Shelter’s protection. Of course, crimes still occurred but under other circumstances. People fighting for a simple opportunity to have a job, since they had to contribute in order to stay warm, having the comfort of personal cages, or what they now called their living quarters, their rooms. 

With each day, the things that were happening made no sense to Hongjoong. But today’s news was too shocking and for some reason it made no sense. No one who was in the right state of mind would commit such a crime. There was just no way someone would endanger his own survival like that. What would this person get from such an act? Nothing other to be expelled. There were easier ways to commit suicide. 

Hongjoong found himself on his usual spot in the camp, on the square near the fire. He was staring at a big dashboard and blinking at it. There were nine names and nothing else written on it. Only names. 

Kim Kongjun

Jung Yunho

Lee Kangin

Song Jaehyun

Park Jimin

Bang Yongguk

Choi San

Jung Wooyoung

Kang Yeosang

His eyes were skipping the names from the top to bottom and back to the top - for couple of times. His heart was quickly beating and even though this natural reaction should make his body warmer, hot even with sweat and all - the effect was opposite of the natural one. He felt cold shivers that chilled not only his whole body, but his blood even. 

Jung Wooyoung. Jung Wooyoung. Jung Wooyoung. Jung Wooyoung. 

That was the only name that mattered for Hongjoong. 

Loud discussions by the people nearby were trying to pull him out of his utter stupor but as his eyes remained on that name, he could not allow for anything else to disrupt him. 

His brain knew what that meant but he did not want to even think about it. That would mean that he accepted what that name represented, so the only thing that he could do was to turn around and run. 

He ran away from what so far he called home and found his peace into the dark corridors. 

There at least everything was the same and nothing changed. The darkness still scared him like nothing else. Deep into the tunnels, levels above where it was a few some couple of degrees colder, Hongjoong allowed himself to stop and kneel down. He pressed his back to the dirty wall and just hugged his legs. 

Here in the darkness everything was the same. There was no need for him to close his eyes and try hiding his tears since no one could see that he was crying.. it was too dark. So he deluded himself… since here everything was the same, it was still colder than the few kms below where he had been living all his life, still pitch black… then when he decided to go back, Mr. Choi still would be waiting for him by the fire to tell him a story. Then afterwards he would sneak into Wooyoung’s room to have a few drinks with the other, who conveniently would have stolen the alcohol from one of his customers. 

Everything would be the same he knew it, once he went back home. 

Yet he remained rooted on his spot for a long, long time.

***********************

Hongjoong was quietly waiting in front of the door of what he was told by some random lady that Mingi had been occupying from the beginning. His eyes were on the floor, not meeting anyone’s glare of wonder of his current state. The last thing on his mind right now was what he looked like - all dirty and unkept. 

Then he saw pair of shoes which stopped right in front of him and remained on their place. He concluded that was not just some passer by but the owner of the room, so without saying anything to the other, just turned around, pressed the doorknob and led himself into the room. 

“Did you do it?” 

Mingi walked after him and shut the door closed, leaning his back against it. He was quiet for some time before a sigh got out of him and Hongjoong turned on his heels to face him. 

“What exactly? Kill my own friend? No, he killed himself, sadly.” He said like it didn’t even matter to him, but his eyes narrowed at Hongjoong. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t believe you.” Hongjoong said through his teeth. Even though he had felt empty and numb for - he didn’t know how long he’d spent wandering in the tunnels, only one look at the other was what was needed for him to allow himself feel something, anything. And right now, too many emotions started swirling inside him - anger was the strongest of them all,the only one that he could easily put his finger on.

“Jung Wooyoung..” Mingi started, talking as if he was making a report to someone who was a higher rank than him, having his hands locked behind his back and his stoic expression that didn’t give any sign of emotion. “.... stole a gun from Choi San, killed important people, one of which was Jung Yunho - the nephew of a very important man. It was reasonable for him to pick exactly that room. Good decision. Of course, Wooyoung got shot and then after he took several men down along with himself, he died. San commited suicide. I tell you the truth now, it wasn’t me.” He said and bowed his head down, biting his bottom lip for a moment. 

It was about time that Hongjoong would use that information and make his brain process it in the right way. After he didn’t say anything, Mingi looked up and frowned. 

“Why the fuck would he kill himself, don’t you ask yourself that? Why would he care about what Wooyoung had done and follow him right after he got killed? Can you fucking shake yourself from your stupidity and start thinking clear?” He raised his voice and made a step closer to Hongjoong. “Do I have to shoot myself too? Shoot you? We will be stuck here, Kim, until you fucking figure out what is the right thing to do.”

What did the other say? To start thinking clear? That angered Hongjoong even more since thinking was all that he had been doing and there was no logic in anything that was happening.

“Everything was okay before you showed up!” He openly accused the other and punched him in the face. “Why did you come here in the first place? Everyone was doing fine.. life was normal, we were doing our jobs and had reason to live. And then you show up? Who gave you the permission to ruin my life?” Punch after punch Hongjoong was pouring his emotions over the other. While he was shifting his hand for one more punch, Mingi grabbed his wrist and stopped him. 

“What is your fucking reason to live? Is there something to live for, Hongjoong? Do you have a fucking family? Have you ever asked yourself this simple fucking question? No, you haven’t, so you needed a bastard like me to come here and kill everyone that matters to you. Even thinking about that, you made no relations, you had just one fucking friend who finally got in his right state of mind and did the right thing, and one old guy who doesn’t mean a thing to you.” Mingi started yelling at his face, giving out more information that he was supposed to, but to watch over Hongjoong in that state of mind and body- his eyes red from crying, filled up with nothing. He was fading with each passing day and the more that he lost was just making him sulk down in the hole that he had dig by himself. 

Hongjoong was about to go mad if they kept him in this shit hole and Mingi was probably the only person who gave shit about his mental state. 

“Don’t you raise your voice at me.” The malice in Hongjoong’s voice was final. He retreated his hand from the other’s grasp as if his touch was more offending than the words that he was shooting at him. “Know your place.” What came over him he had absolutely no idea, but flashes of images attacked Hongjoong so hard that it made him dizzy. He saw the other passing by him, bowing at him as if showing respect, or just taking notes down as a good high-schooler. The fuck was that exactly? 

He grabbed his own face in utter bewilderment and turned his back to the other. He had to compose himself, Mingi was playing with him, he probably wanted him to go crazy or something. After everything the other was doing and saying, there was no other logical explanation.

“You don’t know anything but you act as if you’re the owner of the place. Doing what you like.. killing people.” Hongjoong gathered the last piece of his sanity and looked back at the other. “Do you want to die? Is that why you are telling me everything that you’re doing? How you killed Mr. Choi and Seonghwa? And those made up stories of Wooyoung killing all those people.. you’re lying.” Hongjoong concluded. “What are you going to win from all those lies? Promotion?” 

“Fuck.” Mingi sighed again, trying to maintain more emotions than he could handle and tried hard to go back in the skin of that person that he showed up in front of Hongjoong, but the other was too stubborn to see things clear and he had no idea what else to do in order to open his eyes. 

Did San succeed to wake up Wooyoung? He would have asked him if he didn’t shoot himself and follow his captain out of that shit hole. What about Mingi then? What was his mission exactly and how he was supposed to wake his own captain when Hongjoong wanted to live that miserable life and wake up everyday for nothing. 

He was strong, stronger than anyone probably, and that's why he couldn’t break. 

He had to be broken though. 

“I have to take you out of here.” Mingi ended up saying, cursing under his nose several times. If he did what he wanted to do in this situation, the project would end up as a failure. But if he let Hongjoong to live his life here, the longer he stood, the worse he would get. “Don’t you have an answer for my questions? What the fuck do you even live for? You hope for another sun to be created? Alien attack? _What are you waiting for?”_

Hongjoong kept staring at the other and even though his inner voice was screaming at him to just say something back, he remained quiet. He only stared at Mingi.

Mingi who was confusing him more than anything else in his small world. 

“It’s not your fucking business.” He spat finally and acted as if on instinct with the other. He closed the distance between them and grabbed him by the neck. “Why are you so interested in nobody like me exactly? Why do you keep talking to me, asking questions that don’t concern you? I asked you before and now I want your answer - _who the fuck are you?”_

“I can’t tell you.” Mingi replied, keeping his temper back. He was hesitating when he let Hongjoong to freak out in front of him, mistaking that pain with another realization. The boy was just hurt from losing everyone that he cared for and he came into the room of the only person who he felt attached to. It was mystery why and how he felt safe in Mingi’s company even though he had killed someone important for him and treated him like shit, but their real relation was far from what they were showing to each other in the Shelter. And Mingi was hoping that he didn’t fuck up that bad here as he did in reality. He owed Hongjoong a way out, but that would mean a failure for his captain. 

“You were supposed to wake up by yourself, I thought that you did when you looked at me… but we fucked up together, typical _us_.” He said and finally pushed Hongjoong back, deciding to flip the game in his favor despite the instructions. It would be his own failure, not Hongjoong’s. “Tell me that I’m not familiar to you and I will shoot you.” He said and draw his gun out, pointing it at the other with a cold look in his eyes. “I screwed you over, Kim, yet even here you wanna be close to me. I dumped you.”

The gun pointed at Hongjoong did not make him flinch, but the other’s words did the trick. 

The dizziness hit him stronger this time. He was staring at those beautiful eyes again back then, his heart clenched as strong as his fists. The humiliation that made him feel so low and stupid deemed him speechless. 

Mingi was shouting at him how ridiculous he was for even mentioning making things official. Their positions in the military did not allow such relationships, they had swore oaths to commit their lives to the cause and never consider anything or anyone above it. And here he was, proposing the unthinkable, taking the wrong choice in admitting his stupid feelings in front of the younger one. Not only was the taller one younger, but also a lower rank than himself. He had allowed himself to feel something that he should not have in the first place. The only thing that they had to live for was their loyalty to the cause of the day, be it military or experimental, or whatever the higher up made them believe into. Yet, Hongjoong had put Mingi above those beliefs for awhile now. Paying attention to the other, seducing him in situation where nothing good could’ve come from. 

_And it didn’t._

Mingi had expressed it too clearly. With both words and actions. He was using the same lips with which his own had interlocked so many times, to throw the ugly truth in his face. 

Hongjoong was only his captain and had taken advantage of the other and his desire to please his captain. Mingi openly told him that he had been with him only because Hongjoong was his captain, no attraction or emotions related him to the other. Only his wish to grow up soon in their troops and Hongjoong could help him out with that. While Hongjoong had delusioned himself that there was something real between them, Mingi had used the time to create a path for himself. 

Hongjoong felt the same pain that he had felt back then. His mind started clearing, but the feeling remained. How stupid he had felt to the point that he took stupid decisions - one after another, only so he could tire himself to the point that he could forget about the other and his truth. 

“I was watching over you.” Mingi said, his eyes finally giving out something rather than coldness and he let them close for a moment, but his hold around the gun got even tighter. “For months, I was watching you grow up in this fucking shit hole until I was given the order to come here. Even right now, there is someone out there who is probably wishing to pull my plug out and wake me up because I am screwing up their plans, but I don’t give a shit.” He said and closed the distance between them, wrapping one arm over Hongjoong’s neck to pull him closer as the one holding the gun pressed the end of it against the smaller male’s chest. “It’s time to go home, baby.”

Hongjoong clearly felt the connection with the other. It was something real. And even though he could not grasp the whole situation, he believed Mingi - the cruel fucker who with his cruelness once again could make him feel something for him. He was really stupid .. very very stupid to believe him. 

“If someone is watching… why did you say it then?” that was the only thing that Hongjoong wanted to know. 

“Say what?” Mingi asked, straight in his ear. 

“Admitting that we … had a thing.” 

“They can read the signals that my brain is making, connected to the system. They can see through my eyes and read my thoughts. My decisions. Yours too. We cannot hide anything when we are connected in this machine. We are just players in this game and we control our own decisions. Some of us are sleeping, others are aware of this whole project. We are put in here so you can make decisions and achieve something.” Mingi said, quietly loading the gun, his hand not even trembling even if he could feel the hard pressure that he had with it against Hongjoong’s body. It was all exposed now and it was their time to go as well. Other players would continue the game, until each one of the test subjects found their purpose of living and wake up by themselves. “Let’s talk about it when you recover. I will be by your side even if you don’t want me to be. Are you ready to go?”

“If you’re saying all of that….” Hongjoong quietly laughed at the situation that both of them found themselves into “ then I failed miserably.” 

“I didn’t give you much of a chance.” Mingi said and Hongjoong could hear his soft laughter before Mingi clicked the gun and shot him.

Hongjoong felt the sharp pain and it brought him to the ground. Even though his body was convulsing, trying to fight the pain, he knew that it would be soon over. 

“You shot me... thanks.” he wanted to say so much more, he wanted to feel so many things, and all of those things were related to the one who sat beside him and put his head on his knees. That gesture was only done to provide some comfort while the painful convulses were going to last. 

Hongjoong failed in his mission. But he gained something much more important. 

When he closed his eyes and welcomed the darkness there was one last thing that he thought about before giving into it… exactly who he had come here to forget was who got him out. 

Mingi wasn’t looking at Hongjoong, but he heard his last breath and nodded once. 

“See you on the other side, captain.” Mingi mumbled to himself and raised the gun to his own temple, caressing Hongjoong’s lifeless face before he pulled the trigger one last time and fell beside him.

***********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Joong is finally out but not on his own wish... Mingi took the decision for him.   
> Penny for your thoughts? :P


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

A whole week had passed until Wooyoung’s mind had recovered completely. 

And it felt like hell was trying to pull him down to burn. 

The first three days he was screaming in pain, the headache was like nothing that he had ever experienced before. He was waking up in the middle of the night, having nightmares of suffocation. He couldn’t look outside of the window and stare up at the bright sun, because he was used to nothing but fluorescent lamps, fire or pure darkness. His body was going through the shock.

His muscles were painfully aching and he was getting tired easily, he could barely eat by himself or talk. 

But he was told that he had passed his own test. It took him long, there was risk at some point and that was why the scientists agreed that he needed a little push so he could realize what was going on and finally wake up. 

But Wooyoung felt ashamed of the fact that he was living a life of a hooker and each one of these scientists, the people who were part of this mind-control project, were able to see him fuck people inside of his head. It was only virtually happening, but Wooyoung could still feel the looks that he was given by some people of the staff, whose eyes would linger on his body whenever he went on check ups and had to strip naked. 

The boys from his crew were laughing, telling him that some people just grew fond of him because of all of these hours that they had to look over Wooyoung’s life inside the Shelter and he understood. It was good to feel empathy, it was human. So he sucked in the fact that he was more naked than having clothes while he lived in the virtual space of the Shelter. 

He was one of the many test subjects, a successful one. The doctors had explained to him everything in details, what his results were, what his brain achieved and what information they took from it in the process. He didn’t fail, but he was very close to. 

If San hadn’t showed up to guide him. 

San…. Wooyoung rejected the offer to let him in his room. He was a squad captain, everyone who was below him had to take his orders until he recovered completely and San was the only person who wasn’t allowed to approach Wooyoung. The order came by himself. 

Wooyoung was glad to see Seonghwa and Yeosang on the fourth day of his recovery. Seonghwa reminded him that he wasn’t a part of the test subjects and he was only there to keep an eye on him and Yeosang. Yeosang himself was in a bad condition because of what Wooyoung had done to him. He wasn’t anywhere close to waking up and Wooyoung decided to get him out of the test beforehand. Impulsive action that got his boy in a bad condition.

He apologized and of course Yeosang accepted his apology with a smile and said that he was okay. Seonghwa was taking care of him, so Wooyoung tried to give them some space and search for somebody else. 

Seonghwa said that Hongjoong’s test had come to a failure, as one of his squad members shot him in the head and took him out of it. It happened in the same day that Wooyoung fulfilled his own mission. 

The second week of his recovery started and Wooyoung was more inside of Hongjoong’s room than he was in his own. 

He was only introduced to that young captain when they were about to be brainwashed and connected to the machines. But inside the Shelter, Wooyoung and Hongjoong somehow became best friends, searching for each other’s company whenever they could. He still felt this way, which was why he wanted to be there when Hongjoong woke up from the coma. 

Mingi, that idiot, was close to helping Hongjoong before he decided that he couldn’t risk waiting more and killed him. The simulation was over, but Hongjoong’s brain got damaged just like Yeosang’s one was, because they weren’t ready to leave the test project by the time that they got killed inside of it. 

Yeosang had opened his eyes, but Hongjoong was still in some kind of a coma, his body recovering while being in it. The doctors said that there would be no damage after he wake up, but Wooyoung couldn’t help but feel worried. 

He was spending each of his days with Mingi, finding him as quite funny guy. He was careful, frowning at the nurses who came to put infusions in Hongjoong’s weak body. He was 24/7 inside of that room, so they put a bed next to Hongjoong so Mingi could at least have some sleep. 

Wooyoung was looking at them and couldn’t stop his own bursting emotions. He had no idea that San had been beside him as well until he woke up, before Seonghwa kindly decided to share it with him. He informed Wooyoung that San was pissed at himself, storming out of his room when Wooyoung’s eyes opened. 

Why would he stay beside Wooyoung if he would only run away from him like a fool after he woke up? 

The feelings were shared, since Wooyoung felt ashamed and angry at San and he didn’t want to stay around him at all. He didn’t need more than an hour to remember his own life perfectly well and end up in the same hole that he was stuck in before he got signed up as a test subject in this project. 

It was even worse now, because he could picture San all over himself, his full lips pressed tight against Wooyoung’s ones, he could feel his heated body pressed to his own, he could feel the passion, the tension, the shame that came to him. 

But it wasn’t even real. His lips had never really touched San and San had never acted rude with him. It was all happening in their minds, inside that machine that was capturing all of their actions and thoughts, their dreams and everything that they were experiencing. 

It wasn’t real and Wooyoung wanted to scream again, because he was mislead and confused. 

He could see San moving through the corridors whenever he was leaving Hongjoong’s room and heading to his own. San would speak to that Yunho guy and they would laugh at some jokes until San noticed Wooyoung and his beautiful smile would fade instantly. 

Wooyoung couldn’t even make him laugh anymore, he couldn’t make him smile. He crossed the line when he was still brainwashed and inside the Shelter. He couldn’t think rationally and ended up falling for San just because his feelings for him were real. Strong and fucking one sided. 

San was his best friend. The only person that Wooyoung cared about. And yet, he pushed him away despite everything that San had done for him. Wooyoung couldn’t face him now because he was a coward. 

And most importantly….. because he admitted his real feelings for San and got rejected by him once again. That was fucking real. San’s rejection was real. 

And the coward in Wooyoung couldn’t accept it yet. He couldn’t live with the fact that he would stand in front of San and pat him on the shoulder with the words - you did great, serjant, as in reality he wanted to yell at his face, kiss his fucking lips and have him close to himself. 

Wooyoung was screwed, in love, and still trying to shake his fake life inside the Shelter so he could live like a soldier again. His fate was to be forever alone probably. 

Who was he to wish for love anyway? 

“Is it bad that I…. have feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the same way?” He spoke in a sunny day when he came into Hongjoong’s room again so he could chat with Mingi for a while. 

The boy had red hair, despite his black one when he was in the Shelter. He was much more pleasant than what he was in that fucking place. So Wooyoung ended up liking him. 

Oh, Mingi was also telling him things about San, since the two of them became friends as well and met everyday for a drink in the basement of this laboratory. 

To be honest, Wooyoung envied Mingi, because he was making San laugh and enjoyed his company. 

“Hongjoong would ask the same question if he was awake.” Mingi said ironically, but Wooyoung could feel the bitterness inside of these words. His eyes were locked in Hongjoong’s calm face while he spoke. “I guess you can never tell if the other person does feel the same way.”

“I am sure that he doesn't.” Wooyoung said in a matter of fact and cocked an eyebrow. “Fight me on that one, fucker.”

“Oh I can do that.” Mingi said and rolled his eyes on Wooyoung, throwing him a funny look. 

What was that now? Did he know something? 

“Is San talking about me?” Wooyoung asked and started blinking like idiot. 

Mingi smirked. “What makes you think that I will share inside information with you. He is my friend, not you.”

“Mingi, come on…”

“Stop being a coward and talk to him.”

“Don’t tell me how to act with my best friend.”

“Exactly, maybe I will be his best friend soon, captain.”

“Gonna shoot you for real if you try.”

“Oh, I can sense jealousy. Do you wanna know how San’s day was again?”

“Mingi….”

“I guess you don’t care that much. Not gonna tell you anything.” Mingi shrugged and tried to cease his own laughter before it burst out. 

“Go to hell then.” Wooyoung waved in front of his eyes and the other laughed hard. 

“God, I should’ve recorded this and sent it to San.” Mingi looked down at Hongjoong and leaned closer to his ear. “I’m in the middle of a melodrama here, you have to wake up and help me.”

“Okay, I cannot stand your shit anymore.” Wooyoung frowned and stood up from his own chair, glancing at his sleeping friend before turning on his heels to leave the room. “You can stop stalking my best friend and pay attention to the guy that you shot and put in this condition.”

“Your words don’t make me feel bad. I will only speak of my actions to Hongjoong and let him judge me.” Mingi replied and that made Wooyoung look back at him. 

“Ah, as if admiral Choi didn’t punish you already. I’ve heard that he got angry that you disobeyed. He really loves Hongjoong.” He said and winked at the red- haired- also handsome- idiot. 

“Hongjoong really likes him as well. But he couldn’t make him remember himself.” Mingi shrugged. “I win. Oh, and Wooyoung?”

The other stopped on the doorway. “What?”

“Should I tell San that you asked about him?”

“Screw you, Mingi.” Wooyoung left the room before he could give another answer. 

But yes, he wished that Mingi would do exactly that. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

He never believed in the saying that one of the hardest decisions in the life, may be actually the easiest things to be done. 

Hongjoong was stoically waiting in front of the big wooden door and impatiently waiting for his turn to be summoned inside. Today was the day where he had to lay all his cards on the table and move on. 

“You may get inside.” The lady who was quietly working on her desk, announced his sentence. Her fingers were powerfully hitting the keyboard and Hongjoong thought that he was glad that he was not born as a subject that this woman could use as anger relief. 

“Thank you” He said respectfully and wasted no more time in observing the secretary that paid heim no further attention. 

He opened the door and made his way inside. 

“Admiral.” The soldier in him paid utmost respect and waited for the other to acknowledge him before continuing.

“Captain Kim.” The admiral of their division was an old man, someone who Hongjoong had known for years. Someone who had griefed about - the old Mr. Choi. His mind still could not grasp the magnitude of how many people were involved in the experiment which he had the misfortune of joining. 

Hongjoong had been a volunteer initially and when he signed in, he thought that he knew what he was getting himself into. But once he was out, his mind scrambled and confused, he realized what big mistake he had done. No matter how strong you believe you are, once the edge is near the bone, only then you realize who you are. 

And while being in the Shelter, Hongjoong did exactly that. He was someone who wanted to be free, to live his own life without following orders blindly … someone who could love freely. 

“You may sit down, Hongjoong. We are beyond all those pleasantries after spending so much time together, boy.” The older man’s words made Hongjoong cringe even though they were probably said with the intention to loosen the mood up. 

“Yes, sir.” He sat down and stared at the other. There was no cane in Admiral Choi’s hands. Probably that was only added as some detail in the project, he could not say. The other was old, but not that much apparently. 

“To be honest with you… I’m quite surprised by your decision.” Admiral Choi said but left him to defend himself. One more reason for Hongjoong to protect what mattered most now for him. 

“I have no wish of disappointing you, Admiral. Just… I want to do what is right for myself. And if I continue this kind of life, I will never have what I want… and need. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me, but I humbly request of you to respect my decision and approve my resignation.” He had put much thought into this and even when he’d been typing his resignation letter, he felt as if he was betraying all of those who believed in him enough to put their own lives into his hands. But now when he voiced out his desire, he could not even grasp how easy it was. 

He always thought that military life was the only path, way of life for him. 

Now he knew better. 

The smiling face of someone, who was so damn special for him, flashed on the back of his eyes. He was not doing this only for himself but also for Mingi. 

They could not have what they wanted when both of them followed the rules. They could not be themselves… and in the Shelter, even though Mingi was acting most of the time, it was easier to be together than in the reality. Military life was not meant to bond people in such kind of relationships. There were boundaries that should not be crossed. 

Hongjoong wanted all of those obstacles down. He wanted to walk around freely, keeping Mingi’s hand in his own; to be able to express his attraction and admiration towards the other whenever he wished to and not to have to look every few seconds above his shoulder in fear that someone caught them. 

Of course, it took some time for the captain to realize all of that. 

Three months to be precise. 

During that time, he had woken up - with Mingi right there next to him, patiently waiting for him to open his eyes, as he had promised back then and there when he had shot him. Hongjoong had recovered and it was not that easy.. having so many delusions and fears, but what took his breath away was how Mingi was always there for him to help him out, to bring him back from the darkness. Always with a gentle smile on his face, as if he had nothing else to do, pampering him until Hongjoong was once again on his legs. The captain did not even know how someone could change to such extent. He wondered if it was even possible, if that was also part of the experiment, but Mingi faced all those accusations with reason and concrete logic. And utmost care. Mingi was almost never leaving his side during his recovery time, he was sleeping in the same room, always at arm’s reach distance, always ready to jump and make the uneasiness vanish from Hongjoong’s mind. One specific night, Mingi told him why he was doing what he was doing, because he had been a fool back then when he’d dumped Hongjoong and only after he had been watching him through monitors for months he realized his mistake. Those words were not said in any way that could resemble even closely romance, no. Just the other finally decided that Hongjoong was worth of opening himself for. 

And that meant so much more for Hongjoong than falsely promised stars and all. 

Mingi wanted him in his life and that was so much more meaningful than anything else. 

So Hongjoong had to do something so he could keep this previous man in his life.

“You must know that it’s not so easy to leave… You are from certain rank that…”

“If you are implying I will go out and start spilling top secret information, I assure you that is not the case.” Hongjoong was brought back to the reality, this was a side effect that still remained and he hoped soon it would wear off - spacing out. 

Admiral Choi stood up from his seat beside his desk and moved next to the window to stare outside.

“You failed in your mission. There were so many clues for you to follow and yet you never lingered from the character that was prepared for you. I remember how promising you were in the beginning.. you chose this character as it was the farthest one from your own in real life. And then you failed miserably…” The disappointment was evident in the other’s words, but that was exactly that Hongjoong deserved. What he had done was not something to be proud of, but he was happy. 

“I realize that. One more reason for me to leave… I cannot keep my captaincy and I have no desire to be demoted and be ordered around from someone who had been obeying my words only few months ago. I want to keep my dignity.” Hongjoong patiently voiced out his words. He had pride and he did not want years of work to be wasted only due to one failure from his side.

“Let’s not lie to one another, captain.” The admiral turned around and finally smiled. “You want to leave only because you …” 

“Want to have relationship with a man, and that is not seen with good eyes here. So yes.” Hongjoong admitted finally. 

What happened next came as in blur for the captain. It took some time for him to convince the higher ranked to accept his resignation and once he did, Hongjoong was out of the door and walking quickly through the corridors. He could not wait to find Mingi and finally tell him what he was up to. 

He found Mingi in their shared room. 

“We have to talk.” He announced and waited for the other’s reaction. 

Mingi looked up from what he was doing and frowned. “That’s never a good thing?”

“It is. I quit.” It was funny how he was not nervous when he stood in front of Admiral Choi, proclaiming his feelings for the younger male, but now when he stood in the same room with Mingi, two meters away from him, staring at those beautiful eyes, he was not sure how the other was going to react to his decision. “I am a free man now … and this… you will not have to face any difficulties in here.” 

The other needed a moment, no hundred moments probably, in order to process what Hongjoong was telling him and the only thing that came up to his mind was:

“Are you fucking kidding me now?” He threw his phone somewhere in the room and his frown became permanent. “Can you tell me what’s been on your mind lately? I was thinking that you space out because of the therapy but I can see now that you were up to something else. Why did you do it?”

Hongjoong wanted to stay positive and not read too much into the other’s words. He took a deep breath, a habit of his now, because he needed to compose himself, and no other person could bring his nervousness out as quickly as Mingi did. It was ironic, since he was the one who calmed him down after… with that thought in mind he opened his mouth and bravely started the speech he prepared just in case he needed it. 

“You dumped me once because of who we were. I was your captain and.. you saw that as a problem. So I found a way to change that.” Another deep breath. “After the mission.. I realized I don’t need this life. I want to be someone who can openly be himself, and not a puppet in someone else’s game. I want to be with you.. and ever since I woke up, you have not strayed from my side. What does this mean? It means that what we had was real.. it is real - for both of us. So I want to keep that.” He finished his speech and the second he saw Mingi raising from his bed, Hongjoong closed the distance between them, coming exactly into the other’s arms. 

Mingi picked his face in his hands and stared at him in the same way that he did during the whole explanation that Hongjoong was giving him. He felt like a fool, leaving someone hanging for too long, leaving him to live a life with wrong expectations and most importantly - somehow managed to make Hongjoong think that leaving his position in the military was the right thing to do. 

Maybe it was after what he had been through, but he was so damn wrong about everything else that Mingi wanted to bang his head hard. Was it too late to explain himself now? 

If he learned something from that idiot Wooyoung, it was that there was no such thing as too late. So even if he had to say this years after they had this conversation, Mingi would still confess. 

He wanted to do it now. 

“I was just an asshole who wanted to fuck a pretty boy, despite your rank. I hated being called someone’s boyfriend, so I ran away the second when I saw the hearts in your eyes.” He said and rolled his eyes away, nodding. “When I heard that you signed up for this shit, I came too late to talk to you. I saw them keeping your breathing up by a fucking simution and I spent months in thinking about how you’ll die. If there was some power problem, something to stop the machine from functioning right. It would’ve cost your life and I wanted to fucking come inside and ask you - why? Why did you go in?”

Was it too pathetic to have this heart-to-heart conversation only when Hongjoong had lost his career? Yes. But was it worth it – again, yes. What Mingi was telling him, was so close to love confession that Hongjoong wanted to laugh, but decided against it since … Mingi was not someone who easily talked about such things. 

“When the project was presented and the experiment was due to happen.. The higher ups wanted us to choose who was going to participate.” Hongjoong did not really had to explain all of that but wanted for Mingi to realize just how much he meant to him. “I couldn’t just let you be selected..and then you dumped me.” He laughed at that memory even though it still pained him. “And I wanted to forget. I chose my own avatar. A delivery boy, who had no real power… That’s why I volunteered.” He raised himself on his toes and put a small kiss onto Mingi’s lips. “I failed my mission, Mingi. You had to really kill me in there, so I could get out. I am grateful, you know… because I don’t think I was going to come around and realize what was really going on. I was okay with what I had…”

“Because that is what you want.” Mingi mumbled, staring at his eyes thoughtfully. “I was watching the screens like a lunatic. And with time, I figured one thing…. I didn’t want you to live there, live that life while I was not being a part of it. That’s why I was angry when you first met me. I got angry at you.” He said and let his hands move along the other’s face slowly, feeling the contours of it. “Things had changed for me while I was alone here. I got crazy. Over you.”

Hongjoong smiled and really he was happy right here and now. 

“I’m glad you came for me, Mingi.” He hugged the taller one and continued. “So… now that I’m not your captain, there is no problem to be together?” Even though he was positive that the other was far away from rejecting him now, he still wanted to hear it out loud. 

“I hate talking shit like that and you know it.” Mingi replied and growled in his neck, releasing a deep sigh. “Yes, there is no problem. We can be whatever you want and you can consider coming back or else.”

“You hate talking like that?” Hongjoong faked a surprised face. “And was that with the quiet whispering in my ear when you thought I was sleeping? Promising me the world and all?” the older one was not going to let the other to go away that easily from the cheesy talk. They both needed it with all cringe that accompanied it. “And what.. now you want me as your captain again? Why? So you can see me all day around… cheesy boy, cheesy.” 

“Admiral Choi probably cut your stupid resignation letter in pieces and silently begged me in his head to change your mind.” Mingi replied and looked at that cute face that the other was making, cringing by the sight of it. “Okay, fine. I was just talking shit so you can wake up, so don’t be cocky.” He reached to mess the other’s head and started laughing, thinking that if someone could see this from aside, he would die in a pond of romance. And to give Hongjoong’s heart a final peace, Mingi stopped laughing after a moment and just spilled out the only thing that the other had wanted to hear from the beginning. 

“I like you.”

It only took losing his own personality, living a life of nobody in darkness, being killed and all - so Hongjoong could finally hear those three words from the other. 

No big deal. 

******

Wooyoung was writing something down in the daily record, not even knowing why it was needed when his days were similar to one another and nothing was ever happening. Despite the trainings that he was having with the rest who woke up from the project. 

He looked up when the door of the white room opened and a familiar face showed up, looking kind of troubled. 

“I don’t need more drama. Get out.” He mumbled and rolled his eyes down on the paper, forgetting his thoughts almost instantly, which easily pulled the trigger and got him angry. “Perfect, now I have no idea what I was writing about.”

Seonghwa sighed and paid no attention to his ranting. “You can read it, you know.” He stated, causing a frown on his captain’s face, but quickly kept the conversation going. “Hongjoong retired. He will leave this lab in few days. I heard it from Mingi himself.”

“He what?” Now that caused Wooyoung a headache. And why would Seonghwa be the first person that Mingi would share such information with? Wooyoung had build a good friendship with that asshole during these months and he was even giving him tips how to not be a dick to Hongjoong. He told Mingi that if he missed the last shot, he would lose Hongjoong and end up alone because he was a fool. 

And Hongjoong was a traitor too, which was a different story. 

“He mentioned several times that he wanna retire because of his love drama. Which only proves that Mingi is an idiot.” Wooyoung said and shrugged. “However, don’t expect me to make the same decision.”

“You know, you’ve changed as well after you woke up. Does it have something to do with the fact that you trashed away your best friend.” Seonghwa knew how to push buttons and his sly eyes were throwing glares at Wooyoung as if he was aware of what the fuck happened between the two best friends. Which he really did. 

“Can I have my personal life back, please?”

“Stick it in your ass, captain.” Seonghwa said and opened the door again, smiling. “See you around.”

“Sure.” The other said and frowned, bending his head down to rest for a moment after the door closed and he was left alone. Headache after headache was reminding him that there was still something to be done, but he was waiting, wasting time, hoping and cursing at the same time. 

Everyone around him was recovering, he was trying to do the same, but it was bad how he couldn’t move the obstacles from his way and the shame that was still lingering in his heart. 

And of course, the rejection. 

The door got opened again and this time Wooyoung picked the pen and threw it blindly towards the soft crack, hoping that he stuck one of Seonghwa’s eyes out. 

“Weren’t you done here? Get lost, Seonghwa.” He mumbled without moving from his comfortable position on the desk. 

“Are you okay?” Came the soft voice of the person with whom Wooyoung had not talked in months now. Both of them had been avoiding each other, but no matter how much time had passed, he could not mistaken that voice. San. 

“I can give you at least hundred things that make it hard for me to be okay, San.” Wooyoung didn’t move, but he hid from the fact that something unexpected was happening right now and he had the only person that he didn’t want to have around himself. It got him nervous almost instantly, so he chose to hide in his arms and not face San. 

“How long are you going to be hiding and avoiding me? Because I’ve had enough.” San was truly tired of the current situation. Not counting the time Wooyoung spent inside the program, they rarely spent time away from one another. Ever since befriending each other in their younger years, they have been beside each other and San could not take losing his closest friend because of …. well, what he himself had done. He was terrified of facing Wooyoung for all that time, but enough was enough and now he finally grew some balls. “We have to make up. I can’t stand seeing you running away from me like fire… I know what I said and done.. was too much, but you weren’t yourself either.” Now, that’s a way to put the things into one sentence, he was rude again, but he was angry.

The other looked up when the adrenaline shook his body and he needed to look at his friend. But looking at San from that close was causing him more headaches and heart pants that he hated to feel. Acting tough was very easy and he mastered it in his past when he was scared to face some higher rank soldiers and San helped him come through that fear and act brave even when he was shitting in his pants. 

“You asked me a question. I will answer.” He ignored everything else that San ranted about on purpose and cleared his throat, trying to look as serious as he could. “I need more time. Right now I can’t be your friend at all.”

Back then when he was inside the Shelter, San did not think much and was always rude to the other, but they were no longer in some program. Now they were really talking and the other was his real self. No matter how hard San wanted to be the bigger man, literally, this time he couldn’t. 

“What do you want me to do? To forget who you are? The same as you did when you logged into that shity thing?” He however was not going to leave this cabinet until he got what he came here to obtain. “Do you know how I felt when I had to see what.. you had to endure and I was not there to cover for you, to help you? I wanted to kill everyone who dared to come near you, and what you did? You accepted everything…” San was letting his emotions to guide him and that was not a good path, since he knew he was going to lose his temper sooner than later, but the best course of action when he was facing Wooyoung was to make him see how he really felt for the other. “Would you have stayed put if that was me instead of you? Would you have let them do that to me? Answer that, dumbass.” 

Wooyoung’s eyes rolled down on his hands and he tried to compose his raging thoughts for a moment, but failed miserably. When it came to his friendship with San, he was capable of telling the other everything and damn, it was their first conversation ever since that fucked up night in the Shelter. 

So when he looked up at the other, he pushed away all of the papers down from the desk and glared at the other. 

“Of course no, San, have I ever judged your fucking actions?” he paused. He did. “I did, but this isn’t the worse and come on, you act like you don’t fucking know.” Wooyoung kicked the desk and stood up, daring to approach his friend when both of them were angry. It wasn’t a bad thing, because he was the one pouring out emotions on that stupid way all the time and San was willingly yelling back every time. “Thank you for not fucking me the first night that we met, I guess, because that would be awkward, right?”

“Is fucking the only thing in your stupid head, damn it?” San could not keep his anger down anymore. He stared at Wooyoung and for a moment there he was not sure if he was talking with his friend anymore, but the character that Wooyoung so willingly played. “And to answer your stupid question.. the way I see it know, it think I really should have done it back there… so you could stop asking for it. Are you still brainwashed or what?” 

“San, come on.” Wooyoung hissed, walking towards him until he was one arm away from him and pushed him hard on the chest, not having any fears of his abilities now when he was aware that he could fight his best friend, which would be a very dumb decision, but he still sent him to the door and let him hit it with his back. “You just… you were trying so hard to put some sense in my head and I’m grateful, okay? I didn’t say this on time, because you pissed me off with what you’ve done and said in the Shelter.” He started to slowly open up for the other, considering that if Mingi and Hongjoong were finally okay, he had to stop third wheeling them and San had to do the same thing, so to fix their own friendship could be a great idea. If only he wasn’t haunted by his own feelings. “What you did to piss me off was clever, really, but you just have no damn idea what’s on my mind.”

“Then tell me, so I can understand and help you. I can’t continue like that..” San made no attempt to move from where Wooyoung had pushed him, he saw how his friend was finally starting to look like his real self and suddenly he wished he had barged into his cabinet months ago. If they could talk things out and come to some common ground, then they were going to fix their issues and continue from where they stopped before all that craziness had began. “Just talk to me, okay?”

And Wooyoung wished it was that easy. But he stared at the other’s pretty eyes and felt like he deserved to know everything about himself, everything that Wooyoung was having in his head while looking at him. A catastrophe for their long term friendship but also the end of his cowardness. A long time ago, Wooyoung escaped from the same trap, agreeing to join a test project that promised a nice brain wash and no San included. Then few months after he got his punishment for being greedy and tried to escape his most loyal friend. 

Damn, San was too good for himself. 

“Okay then.” He said and got instantly nervous, ready to blow up again if he sensed another attempted rejection because he was damn sure that he couldn’t stand it anymore. His eyes locked at San’s face and he saw everything that he loved in him right there. “I’ve been in love with you for like… I don’t know, long time I guess. It happened when you got into your first relationship and I was holding a gun, ready to shoot you in the fucking head for even letting someone ruin our friendship. Then I figured that this jealousy was just my excuse. Imagine living with you, falling and falling into the same hole, just digging deeper everyday. When I got brainwashed I finally got my peace, but you just had to show up, you stubborn asshole. And I fell for you even when I was fucking the entire world in that program. So tell me, have you ever considered this as an option for my behavior?”

San listen to what Wooyoung was saying and just could not really comprehend what the other told him. Wooyoung had been in love with him? He was so shocked that he could not even open his mouth to voice out his surprise. He had not seen that one coming.

Wooyoung had never expressed anything even close that could’ve let San thinking that the other had such feelings for him. They’d been tight by the hipbone for so long that they just did not see any life without the other. Been there for each other in every kind of situation, to the point where San had to let someone to attach him to a machine and log in after Wooyoung to bring some sanity back to him. He had been that cruel with the other there only because he could not stand the sight of him being taken advantage of.. even though it was not for real, that kind of trauma was going to remain with Wooyoung. So that’s why he was so hard on his friend to make him come back to him sooner. 

But now… hearing Wooyoung voicing out his feelings…

“Is that your avatar or whatever talking now?” He wanted to be sure that Wooyoung was not being mislead by whatever happened in the Shelter. “I mean… what I did there and you.. You in love with me? Really? You never said anything.” He was mumbling and started moving closer to the other. “Why?” 

“I was thinking of myself as a coward when I was the stupid bitch from the Shelter. He had the balls to confess to you and I got what I needed so I can get the fuck out of there and suck it up.” Wooyoung replied and stepped back, since he could clearly see that his friend didn’t see that confession coming. For some reason it was making him melt, because it was sweet watching San’s freak out session. Especially when he was the reason for it. “So we can make a deal now. And move on.”

“If you think I’ll just forget about it and play as if it didn’t happen.. you’re wrong.” San stopped moving from one spot the other and just faced Wooyoung. He stared at the other and could not see anything out of place. Wooyoung was in his uniform, looking physically alright, even though it was clearly written on his face that he was tired, yet he remained as perfect as before in his eyes. His perfect friend for whom he could easily die for. 

“What are you, 5?” Wooyoung frowned at him and sighed. Okay making rules was a bad idea, but he needed another line, border, something, so he could keep himself back. And he looked down for a moment, deciding to make it easy for both of them. “You know how I feel now and I’m telling you that when you admit shit like that it’s kind of impossible to act as if it never happened, so scratch that.” He said and looked up again. “But we can move on and be friends. Come on, San, feelings don’t just grow like a tree. If you said that you didn’t want me when I was basically stripping naked for you, then I have to take it like a man and at least try to … not hit on you again.”

Maybe it was due to the absurd situation or something like that, he was not sure, but somehow San found it funny. So he laughed and laughed until his stomach hurt just a little.

“I can’t believe…” he saw the offended look on Wooyoung’s face and as if only looking at him made him freeze on his place. “You know you are the most important person in my life right?” San was not sure how they could continue and move on from this awkwardness but sure he could say a few things as well. “Wooyoung, I’m not gonna give up on you.. not when I have seen you ‘stripping naked for me’.. maybe I don’t know … how to express my love for you, but surely taking bullets for you counts for something, right?” He moved towards the other and pulled him by the arms. 

“I can’t really promise anything… but I can’t lose you, okay?” San could not say whether he was in love with his friend the same way Wooyoung said that he was, but certainly he knew he was not going to jump in front of anyone else to take a bullet for them the same way he had done countless times for the other. “So… let’s just agree .. with moving on together..” 

Captain Coward and the hooker from the Shelter had both agreed with whatever the hell San was talking about, seeing it as the most reasonable thing to do. While San was putting their future on a map, Wooyoung was mentally creating a path for them to walk on and he finally felt how the headache and that huge ball of nervousness were easing away. He was staring at the other’s face and felt how his own lips pulled in a smile. 

Wooyoung could follow that fucker forever, no matter how little he was about to promise him. It meant everything for him. 

“Okay, let's move on. And San, one last question.” Wooyoung said and let his eyes wander on San until his smile got few shades nastier. “Can I strip for you one last time? Just to give you a tip of what you’re missing.”

“How about…” If Wooyoung thought he was the only one who could play this game, then he thought wrong. “... I teach you how to do it properly?” 

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, did you enjoy the double update? XD   
> This story was quite the journey but finally all of them are on the right track.   
> Thanks for the support and comments, it really means a lot to both of us. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello :)  
> Lets hope that you will like this fic and cheer us up haha  
> Enjoy ^^


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